Losing My Soulmate?

So people who know and understand the prophetic, understand that God can show you things in real-time or events that are to come. So let me share my latest revelation.

I have never really believed in the concept of soulmates, until lately. Soulmates are often thought of as a perfect match in a love story. But I will be honest with you, I do feel it’s not that common, so if God blesses you with that kind of relationship or promises you that kind of connection, don’t let it go.

Recently, I had a dream that my soulmate was turning in another direction towards someone else and he just shrugged his shoulders, and was willing to settle, and gave up on us. I woke up slightly disturbed because God deals with me heavily in dreams. So maybe there is someone out there who believes I am their soulmate, who is about to give up? There might be 2 possibilities. One man I am interested in and one I absolutely positively am not interested in at all, never, forever. lol

This past Friday, I went to a Jazz concert after work. I received free tickets from my job and almost forgot about it until my boss reminded me. I am so glad I went. I definitely feel I was supposed to be there. While I was sitting there I was checking my phone quickly and saw this post:

I’m not sure why, but this post got my attention. Still thinking about my dream I wondered will offense play a part in the loss of my soulmate? Is he moving on? I don’t know why all this came rushing to my mind. At that point, the artist on stage started singing this song:

This just grabbed my heart! Yes! Let’s stay together! The one thing that we must understand about relationships is that being a soulmate doesn’t mean you won’t get upset with one another and sometimes fighting mad!

I’m not a Beyonce fan, but I have to admit I do admire her ability for forgiveness. It’s not a secret that her husband was in the streets while they were married, and he talked about his realization of hurting the one he loved. It’s her love for him that helped her to make the decision (yes she decided) to forgive him and stay married. I’ve always felt this couple were soulmates.

So what happens when you hurt someone or have been the recipient but you know the love is there?

Again, there will be many times when you will hurt one another and have to forgive. And often you won’t even know what you did. And sometimes you will. But no matter what forgiveness and hanging in there is the key.

It was like a picture was being painted as these songs were being performed at the concert. Then after Sweet Love came Purple Rain. I looked at the first line of lyrics and they said:

Lyrics

I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted one time to see you laughing

I won’t post that song because the first few lyrics are the ones that really got my attention.

I came home from the concert feeling like I never would want to purposely hurt the one I love, but I know even with soulmates, it will happen. What proves that you are soulmates is your capacity to forgive and NOT move on to someone else.

Hopefully, this ministered to someone. I know that night at the concert definitely ministered to me.

Aged Out

I used to blog here quite often, but now I find myself blogging when something is weighing heavy on my heart. I spent years and years on here talking about my vision of becoming a wife. Recently, I was talking to someone online and I thought that my dream might be realized, but unfortunately everything crashed and burned as usual.

It became very clear to me that the person I was chatting with, was trying to back out, because our chats became less and less frequent until finally they were nonexistent. My responses and conversations would go unanswered. Sadly, this had become a pattern, and I guess this was the persons way of bowing out, not so gracefully. Then I saw this quote:

After reading that quote, I decided to block this gentleman. Me being a prophetic person, it became very clear and apparent to me that the person may have found someone else which is fine, but I kind of wish they had just left me alone, because I had a little hope. Hope that maybe there could be a future.

Once it became obvious to me that the circumstance had changed and after I blocked the person, later on, I felt the need to share some truths with the individual so I unblocked them and shared my heart. After I did that for the past day or two I felt somewhat sad about the entire situation, but God quickly spoke to me through the mouth of a prophet, and said “you are feeling emotional, but this time you have to keep your heart out of it and not allow your emotions to get involved in it. Wow! This Word was quick and precise and I realize God doesn’t want me to go through any emotional turmoil over this thing. I have to finally let it go because in the past this would have floored me.

After years of trust in God, and having an expectation of being married, I have really come to the conclusion that it may never happen. And the reason is because I have reached a certain age in life where it is less likely that I will have a husband. Reality is that even men who are 50 and above still want younger women. If the man is in his 50s, he can marry someone in their late 30s early 40s and still start a family but if you are a woman who is 50 and above, there is the disadvantage of not being able to have children, so you are less likely to be chosen.

Now I have to say that with God, all things are possible because in 2021 I had three friends all over 50 who got married. One got married for the third time, another one got married for the second time, and finally another one got married for the first time, and she married a man who is younger than her.

I didn’t always worry about my age because people tell me all the time I look much younger than what the number is. The other day, a life insurance agent came to my office to deliver a check that I got from the death of an older lady I was taking care of, and while he was there, he tried to get me to sign up for life insurance. When he asked me about my date of birth, and I told. he was truly shocked, and actually thought that I had given him the wrong year, lol. There is a blessing to looking young for your age but the reality is you still are the age that you are.

The older I get the more I realize that time flies and we have to make conscious decisions and that we definitely can’t afford to make mistakes. So therefore, we must listen to God, and make our choices based on his wisdom, and not our own.

I feel like I’ve been on a very long journey; a 20 year journey to be exact and unfortunately, I don’t think that I am going to be married, and the reason is simply, because I feel like I have aged out. So what happens at this point? What happens is I am going to let all of those hopes fall to the ground and die. I will never set my sights on any specific person ever again, and if I do marry, it will be a pleasant surprise.

Last year in the month of May a very well known Bishop, who was actually on a reality show ended up getting married for the second time at the age of 72. And of course his beautiful wife even though she is an older woman she is 20 years younger than him. Their journey played out on that reality TV show and at the end you would’ve thought there would be no way that this man would’ve ever married her. His heart was hardened, and even though they had a close, friendship and business relationship, you could tell that he had no interest in marrying her at the time. Fast forward I want to say about 20 years later, and he proposes to her in his pulpit and they have a beautiful wedding and many celebrations, and start a life together.

At the time that I watched this all play out on YouTube, I had so much hope because the woman’s journey had been so long and I could identify. Unfortunately, a year later all of my hope is gone. But I am grateful that I no longer feel the emotions of it and for the first time in a very long time I can truly say that I have let it and him go.

I was talking to an old friend of mine and she said something that was a great reminder. She said marriage is temporal and it’s only for here on earth. When we get to heaven, there will be no marriage and so when you put things into perspective if you don’t marry here on earth, it’s not such a terrible thing.

A couple years ago, I had a dream about someone that I knew from the past, and he proposed to me, but I really had no interest in him, but I found myself agreeing to marry him in order not to make him feel bad. This would be the worst case scenario, because if God allows you to get married, and if a man finds and chooses you, you should only do it for love. I believe that dream was given to tell me so that I will not settle if the opportunity presents itself and that’s what we all should do. Wait for the will of God and love. THE END.

Selfish or Self-less?

In the last couple of days, two people have referred to me as being selfish. One person said it indirectly and the other said it directly. Of course when you hear things like that and you feel you aren’t selfish, you immediately get on the defensive. But I decided to not to do that when I heard it today.

The person that said it to me indirectly is the lady that I have been caring for, for 2 1/2 years now. I have served her and others have said “waited on her hand and foot”. I have cooked everyday, served her meals, cleaned the kitchen daily, taken her to her many doctors appointments, did the food shopping, picked up her meds and the list goes on. Instead of being paid, I have paid the utilities and given her money as well. Sound selfish?

I didn’t pay it much mind because I have finally decided to move away. I have been self-less for the past 10 years. When I moved to Florida from New York City, I became the caregiver for my Dad. After he died, I ended up being in the same situation, but I am finally letting go and moving on. This is why she is calling me selfish. I’ve decided to “get my life”. It’s laughable.

Today, I was referred to as being selfish because in the past, I was fighting for something that I thought God said was for me. At this point, I have let that go, but I am still very concerned for the person who I was fighting for. I’m glad this was communicated to me because you never know how someone is thinking until they tell you.

Here is the deal. I want the person free and happy period. I am very clear that it would be nothing more than that. And one thing I do know. God has spoken about my role to help, so I believe that person knows that I am a friend and not a foe. So I can be lied on and maligned, it doesn’t matter. When the dust settles, I am a friend who knows that I can help and the time is now.

I did think about what was said, and I can see why a person would say “well you only want to help me because you are thinking how it will benefit you”. That was not my mindset ever, from my perspective. But I can help and move on. I know I can. Too much has happened for this to be a blessing, at least in my mind. If a man makes it clear he has no intention of making you a part of his life, there is nothing left to do but accept it. But I think we can see other people and still be a friends.

Selfish? I think not. Try self-less? My problem is I need to be more selfish.

The End of a Season

There are seasons of life that we all go through and when you live a surrendered life, God can do whatever He wants with you. Not many understand this, but I am here for those who walk this “prophetic walk”.

In 2005, I  moved from the city of my birth (NY) and landed in west Florida, living with my Dad. He was up in age and his health was beginning to decline. Initially, I came because I needed to, but God had a plan. I ended up staying and taking care of him until he died in 2011.

I went through a lot, especially in the area of my health. One of the worse things a caregiver can do is neglect themselves and sadly, that is what I did. I got a very good job, but left because of health issues. This took my life in a direction that I’m not so sure I was supposed to go. But God has a way of working things out for our good.

I ended up moving in with an elderly lady who really needed help and that was our arrangement. Again, I found myself as a caregiver. Now don’t think I went into this willingly. It’s one thing to take care of your parent. It’s another thing to take care of someone who is not a relative. But this lady had lost her 35-year-old daughter years ago and had no one to take care of her. So God placed me in that role and gave me enough confirmation to know, I was in the will of God.

Now, because I have heard a lot of gossip that this lady is saying behind my back, I know it’s time for me to make a move. God in his grace has secured a place for me in another city. Still in Florida, but about 30 minutes from where I now live. It’s amazing how you can make a sacrifice and it not really be appreciated. But I am not going to dwell on that. I know what I did was in obedience to God. But guess what? IT’S MY TIME!!

If my life doesn’t seem that interesting or glamorous, just keep watching. I am about to enter a new season and I believe that in this next season, all that has been laying dormant is about to come forth. I decree and declare that 2016 is indeed my year!! And if you can identify with anything I have said, let me tell you, open your mouth and declare that it’s your time too!

Psalm 126

Not Predicting, Just Sharing What I Saw

I didn’t think I would be back posting so soon, but then I remembered a prophetic word that I received earlier this week. God was letting me know that I was on assignment this week and to pay attention. I almost missed it. I have been actively ignoring something for a while now, for my own sanity. But I am good now. I feel unaffected by it now. I feel healed.

So I was talking about vision yesterday and if you have read my blog in the past you know I believe God showed me my future with a particular person (yeah, I know). I feel the same way. But I didn’t make this up, so who am I to argue.

The Lord showed it to me many years ago. God said I would see this man go through many relationships and that I would “speak” prophetically to the relationships, but in the end, he and I would be together. And the journey began.

Two weeks after I received that word he announced publicly that he had a girlfriend and that is pretty much how it’s been. Me, looking and watching from afar. But then God told me he was going to connect me with someone who knew what was going on in his inner circle and God would show me some things and that happened. Oh but wait, before that God said he would give me a means of communicating with him, which was shown to me in a dream and that happened. You see this man was not in my circle and he is at a different status level.

I can’t tell you everything that has been shown to me and confirmed, but the main part that was shown to me was that he would get tangled up with a friend of mine and come very close to marrying her. This was revealed through the dreams of a couple of friends. Well this has indeed happened. He says she is the love of his life, so who am I to argue? But this has been a very hard pill to swallow. But strangely, it’s been part of the plan.

They have not met yet, but it seems they are about to. But God showed me they wouldn’t or so that is my interpretation of the dream I had. Now this may seem strange to some, but I know if I didn’t have all these warnings, dreams and visions, I would not have had the grace to hold on this long until he and I met.

So what do I do when it seems that my vision will end in another way? All I can do is watch and see. I know I cannot stop two people who seem to want to be together from getting together. Only God can do that. God told me, he spoke to this man about me, but he rejected it and my friend told me God spoke to her about ANOTHER man, but they both seem to be drawn to each other. So we will see.

I feel different now. This past week God has awakened and warned me that this was coming. Whether it will happen is up to God. I am not making any predictions. I am just sharing what I saw years ahead of time.

I had a dream a while ago. I saw my friend happy to be meeting this man. As she started on her journey, she was happy, but just when she was about to meet him, he turned into Michael Jackson. I have never once thought it meant he would die. I always felt, it meant, her chances of meeting him were like her chances of meeting Michael Jackson.

Is this an attempt to stop something from happening? No it’s not. I know that is not possible anyway. Just an attempt to share what I see. I’m on assignment.

Habakkuk 2:3 New King James Version (NKJV)

³ For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.

Blurred Vision

I don’t post like I used to. But I was thinking about vision recently and wanted to share my thoughts.

A spiritual vision, given to a person by God is a very private and interesting thing. It’s very personal. God does speak to people and show and reveal his plans for the future to them. He did it during the Bible days and He still does it to this day. What I have learned about vision is that God will show you His intention. What he wants to see happen. His Will for our lives. But we have free will and can choose to go in another direction. When we do, we suffer the consequences of our choice.

Vision can become blurred. God may speak to our hearts and the situation may go the opposite of what we were shown, or the cares of life may choke out our ability to see, or we may lose desire for what God has spoken. Anything can happen and trust me anything will happen.

The greater the vision, the greater the opposition. Then the enemy and the flesh will get us to try to bury or ignore God’s will. I had a dream recently that someone I know was trying their best to forget or ignore what God told them. But I love the way God has a way of reminding us of what HE has spoken. If it’s God’s plan, it will come to pass, provided we cooperate.

Vision is given to keep us on track. It comes to keep us from moving in the wrong direction. And if our vision is blurred, God will send the prophetic, so that we can see clearly again. Trust me, God will get us on track.

It’s okay if your vision get’s blurred. It happens. But get back on track quickly so you don’t go too far down the wrong road and pay for it later.

Habakkuk 2:2 New International Version (NIV)

The Lord’s Answer

² Then the Lord replied: “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald[a] may run with it.