Selfish or Self-less?

In the last couple of days, two people have referred to me as being selfish. One person said it indirectly and the other said it directly. Of course when you hear things like that and you feel you aren’t selfish, you immediately get on the defensive. But I decided to not to do that when I heard it today.

The person that said it to me indirectly is the lady that I have been caring for, for 2 1/2 years now. I have served her and others have said “waited on her hand and foot”. I have cooked everyday, served her meals, cleaned the kitchen daily, taken her to her many doctors appointments, did the food shopping, picked up her meds and the list goes on. Instead of being paid, I have paid the utilities and given her money as well. Sound selfish?

I didn’t pay it much mind because I have finally decided to move away. I have been self-less for the past 10 years. When I moved to Florida from New York City, I became the caregiver for my Dad. After he died, I ended up being in the same situation, but I am finally letting go and moving on. This is why she is calling me selfish. I’ve decided to “get my life”. It’s laughable.

Today, I was referred to as being selfish because in the past, I was fighting for something that I thought God said was for me. At this point, I have let that go, but I am still very concerned for the person who I was fighting for. I’m glad this was communicated to me because you never know how someone is thinking until they tell you.

Here is the deal. I want the person free and happy period. I am very clear that it would be nothing more than that. And one thing I do know. God has spoken about my role to help, so I believe that person knows that I am a friend and not a foe. So I can be lied on and maligned, it doesn’t matter. When the dust settles, I am a friend who knows that I can help and the time is now.

I did think about what was said, and I can see why a person would say “well you only want to help me because you are thinking how it will benefit you”. That was not my mindset ever, from my perspective. But I can help and move on. I know I can. Too much has happened for this to be a blessing, at least in my mind. If a man makes it clear he has no intention of making you a part of his life, there is nothing left to do but accept it. But I think we can see other people and still be a friends.

Selfish? I think not. Try self-less? My problem is I need to be more selfish.

Fleeing from Sexual Immorality in this Sexual world

baileyseal

I was thinking to myself one day about sexual immorality and how difficult it is to be pure in this sexual world. I was not sure if this was a blog that I should write, so I made a poll on Twitter. The end results blew my mind, and I realized this is something people wanted / needed to hear. This will probably be one of my longer blogs, but here we go…

“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18 NLT)

The reality is that as we live in this world where temptation for sexual sin will always be there. We will never live in a place without that temptation until we get to Heaven. So until then we have to learn and know how to flee from…

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The End of a Season

There are seasons of life that we all go through and when you live a surrendered life, God can do whatever He wants with you. Not many understand this, but I am here for those who walk this “prophetic walk”.

In 2005, I  moved from the city of my birth (NY) and landed in west Florida, living with my Dad. He was up in age and his health was beginning to decline. Initially, I came because I needed to, but God had a plan. I ended up staying and taking care of him until he died in 2011.

I went through a lot, especially in the area of my health. One of the worse things a caregiver can do is neglect themselves and sadly, that is what I did. I got a very good job, but left because of health issues. This took my life in a direction that I’m not so sure I was supposed to go. But God has a way of working things out for our good.

I ended up moving in with an elderly lady who really needed help and that was our arrangement. Again, I found myself as a caregiver. Now don’t think I went into this willingly. It’s one thing to take care of your parent. It’s another thing to take care of someone who is not a relative. But this lady had lost her 35-year-old daughter years ago and had no one to take care of her. So God placed me in that role and gave me enough confirmation to know, I was in the will of God.

Now, because I have heard a lot of gossip that this lady is saying behind my back, I know it’s time for me to make a move. God in his grace has secured a place for me in another city. Still in Florida, but about 30 minutes from where I now live. It’s amazing how you can make a sacrifice and it not really be appreciated. But I am not going to dwell on that. I know what I did was in obedience to God. But guess what? IT’S MY TIME!!

If my life doesn’t seem that interesting or glamorous, just keep watching. I am about to enter a new season and I believe that in this next season, all that has been laying dormant is about to come forth. I decree and declare that 2016 is indeed my year!! And if you can identify with anything I have said, let me tell you, open your mouth and declare that it’s your time too!

Psalm 126

Why Did Abraham Lie?

The other day I was reading something and saw it mentioned that Abraham lied. If you are not familiar with the story, you can find the story in Genesis chapter 12.

Abraham had gone to Egypt, because there was a famine in the land. As he was approaching Egypt, fear gripped him and he started concocting a story to tell the Egyptian because Sarah was so beautiful, he was sure he would be killed because of it. So Sarah went along with the lie and as Abraham suspected, Sarah was indeed singled out because of her beauty and Pharaoh wanted her. Abraham was treated well by Pharaoh because it was not known that she was his wife.

But true to the nature of God, truth emerged. Pharaoh’s house was afflicted with plagues and it let him know something was wrong and he inquired of Abraham and found out the truth. The first question Pharaoh asked Abraham was why did he lie?

I don’t know the answer that Abraham gave, but it was clear that his motive was selfish. He was only concerned about himself. He wasn’t even concerned about his wife, but just what would happen to him. And isn’t that why most of us end up lying? We are doing it purely for selfish reasons. But God had it all come out.

Sometimes things start to go haywire and we are not sure what the problem is. Could it be that we are carrying on a big ole lie and it’s starting to affect our lives? There is no such thing as a “little white lie”. Lies are all the same. They are deceptive and they have the potential to hurt everyone one involved.

Someone is in a mess today. Here is the Word of the Lord: STOP LYING!

Genesis 12

 

Prayer and Fasting

I’m coming off a 10-day partial fast based on Daniel 1 which was when Daniel ate only vegetables. This is been the best experience as well as eye-opening.

Every believer should incorporate fasting into their spiritual life. It’s a game changer. There are times when we go through difficult circumstances and we need answers and there is nothing like powering up your prayers with fasting.

I am going to be honest and tell you that I have been a little lazy in this area. Have I fasted? Yes, I have fasted most of my spiritual walk, but there has been a mandate on me lately and I have missed the mark. For example this 10-day fast has been something I have been “trying” to complete since the beginning of the year. Seemed like I couldn’t get past four days. But praise God, I finally got the victory.

And even though I did complete the fast, I also want to be honest and say I messed up right toward the end of the fast. Not so much with food. But with something else. But God is merciful and he highlighted to me that this is an area that I must get victory over. And then He told me to keep going.

There was also something that God wanted to show me and not only did He give me spiritual insight, but he gave me a peace like I’ve not had before. God is indeed in control, no matter what it looks like.

Experiencing a crisis? Need to get answers, or draw closer to God, or want to hear His voice better? Fasting is the key! For you who have experienced fasting, who have gotten lazy, get back to it. For you who are starting for the first time, get some good literature on it and begin. Your life will never be the same!

Daniel 1

Not Predicting, Just Sharing What I Saw

wpid-future-vision.jpgI didn’t think I would be back posting so soon, but then I remembered a prophetic word that I received earlier this week. God was letting me know that I was on assignment this week and to pay attention. I almost missed it. I have been actively ignoring something for a while now, for my own sanity. But I am good now. I feel unaffected by it now. I feel healed.

So I was talking about vision yesterday and if you have read my blog in the past you know I believe God showed me my future with a particular person (yeah, I know). I feel the same way. But I didn’t make this up, so who am I to argue.

The Lord showed it to me many years ago. God said I would see this man go through many relationships and that I would “speak” prophetically to the relationships, but in the end, he and I would be together. And the journey began.

Two weeks after I received that word he announced publicly that he had a girlfriend and that is pretty much how it’s been. Me, looking and watching from afar. But then God told me he was going to connect me with someone who knew what was going on in his inner circle and God would show me some things and that happened. Oh but wait, before that God said he would give me a means of communicating with him, which was shown to me in a dream and that happened. You see this man was not in my circle and he is at a different status level.

I can’t tell you everything that has been shown to me and confirmed, but the main part that was shown to me was that he would get tangled up with a friend of mine and come very close to marrying her. This was revealed through the dreams of a couple of friends. Well this has indeed happened. He says she is the love of his life, so who am I to argue? But this has been a very hard pill to swallow. But strangely, it’s been part of the plan.

They have not met yet, but it seems they are about to. But God showed me they wouldn’t or so that is my interpretation of the dream I had. Now this may seem strange to some, but I know if I didn’t have all these warnings, dreams and visions, I would not have had the grace to hold on this long until he and I met.

So what do I do when it seems that my vision will end in another way? All I can do is watch and see. I know I cannot stop two people who seem to want to be together from getting together. Only God can do that. God told me, he spoke to this man about me, but he rejected it and my friend told me God spoke to her about ANOTHER man, but they both seem to be drawn to each other. So we will see.

I feel different now. This past week God has awakened and warned me that this was coming. Whether it will happen is up to God. I am not making any predictions. I am just sharing what I saw years ahead of time.

I had a dream a while ago. I saw my friend happy to be meeting this man. As she started on her journey, she was happy, but just when she was about to meet him, he turned into Michael Jackson. I have never once thought it meant he would die. I always felt, it meant, her chances of meeting him were like her chances of meeting Michael Jackson.

Is this an attempt to stop something from happening? No it’s not. I know that is not possible anyway. Just an attempt to share what I see. I’m on assignment.

Habakkuk 2:3 New King James Version (NKJV)

For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.