Writing Again

It’s been a while since I’ve posted here. For some reason, I felt that my time for this was over. I’m not too sure that I’m not correct. I just wrote a paragraph and it was all deleted, one word at a time, right in front of my eyes! I couldn’t help but wonder if I should be doing this. The last time I attempted to post on here, something similarly odd happened and I thought maybe I shouldn’t. So let’s try this again.

Since I last posted on here I’ve moved. I was doing live-in work for a 75-year-old lady and after trying to leave several times, I finally moved into a cozy little place of my own. The situation I was in was toxic and I knew it was time for a change.

I am living on the 9th floor and the building is made motel style. Everyone’s doors face outside and when I say outside I mean it. There are no walls, just a railing and a drop down. When I first saw the apartment they offered me, I was so overwhelmed I turned it down. You see I have a tremendous fear of heights and I just couldn’t take the unit they offered me. Later I was offered a unit on the same floor, but closer to the elevator, so it means I don’t have to walk that far to get inside my apartment. It’s still a challenge, but I am facing my fears.

When I finally moved, the Lord spoke to me and said “this is a pit stop”. I kind of felt it when the manager told me that I am not locked into a lease. All I have to do is give them a months notice and I can leave with no penalty. And also being up high was also a sign to me because even though I like my place, I could never get completely comfortable because of my fear of heights.

The other day, I received a prophetic word that I am not going to be where I am living very long. Then the same day a friend of mine who I hadn’t talked to for a while says to me ” I just feel like you are not going to be in your new place very long”. All I could do was laugh.

Back in January I picked out a place and had the deposit in and my electric turned on, when a bombshell hit and I was unable to move in (won’t go into details). I was so very disappointed. And now that I have a place, God sends his prophetic announcement that I won’t be here for long. Funny isn’t it? But God’s ways are not like ours, nor his thoughts. We just need to submit to him and roll with the punches. So how do I feel about moving again after I moved. I am fine with it. I am not sure how soon it will be, but where He leads I will follow. If the Lord says where you are is a pit stop, then it’s a pit stop. Follow Him! My journey continues….

John 2:5  (NIV)

His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

 

Straight Outta LGBT

A good read! God is able to deliver us from anything!

Zachary & Bayleigh

I have been in the presence of God plenty of time. I have read my bible for years and I’ve prayed for God to miraculously take SSA (same sex attraction) away but nothing happened

I’m not saying those things don’t work because I know of people who have had and encounter with God and SSA completely vanished, but for me it wasn’t like that.

Why did I not receive complete deliverance at one of the hundreds of altar calls that I answered? Was there something wrong with me? Did God just not like me as much as others? Did I not deserve deliverance because God hates gays? Some of my questions never received answers but I knew God didn’t play favorites and he has great gifts for his sons and daughters. I had a deliverance destined for me! My problem was I didn’t know how to get it.

My name…

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Great Confidence 

So enough of that! I’m referring to my last 2 posts. I know God has spoken and it’s in His hands. I just read a quote that said “There are times when you don’t have to prove yourself. When you allow God do it, it’s wayyyy more impactful!- Lakia Robinson. This struck a nerve. I have nothing to prove. This morning my prayer partner gave me a word not knowing what was going on and she said I was going to write a book entitled “I Will Wait for Him”. Of all mornings for her to share this! God has a sense of humor. The truth is,  obedience is the key to blessing! I started my day in obedience and the day is still young and I feel great confidence rising within. I was thinking I would make my last 2 posts private, but then the Lord say they are helping someone even though they are raw. It’s alright. And it’s gonna be alright. Yes, I will wait for HIM and him. 🙂

Selfish or Self-less?

In the last couple of days, two people have referred to me as being selfish. One person said it indirectly and the other said it directly. Of course when you hear things like that and you feel you aren’t selfish, you immediately get on the defensive. But I decided to not to do that when I heard it today.

The person that said it to me indirectly is the lady that I have been caring for, for 2 1/2 years now. I have served her and others have said “waited on her hand and foot”. I have cooked everyday, served her meals, cleaned the kitchen daily, taken her to her many doctors appointments, did the food shopping, picked up her meds and the list goes on. Instead of being paid, I have paid the utilities and given her money as well. Sound selfish?

I didn’t pay it much mind because I have finally decided to move away. I have been self-less for the past 10 years. When I moved to Florida from New York City, I became the caregiver for my Dad. After he died, I ended up being in the same situation, but I am finally letting go and moving on. This is why she is calling me selfish. I’ve decided to “get my life”. It’s laughable.

Today, I was referred to as being selfish because in the past, I was fighting for something that I thought God said was for me. At this point, I have let that go, but I am still very concerned for the person who I was fighting for. I’m glad this was communicated to me because you never know how someone is thinking until they tell you.

Here is the deal. I want the person free and happy period. I am very clear that it would be nothing more than that. And one thing I do know. God has spoken about my role to help, so I believe that person knows that I am a friend and not a foe. So I can be lied on and maligned, it doesn’t matter. When the dust settles, I am a friend who knows that I can help and the time is now.

I did think about what was said, and I can see why a person would say “well you only want to help me because you are thinking how it will benefit you”. That was not my mindset ever, from my perspective. But I can help and move on. I know I can. Too much has happened for this to be a blessing, at least in my mind. If a man makes it clear he has no intention of making you a part of his life, there is nothing left to do but accept it. But I think we can see other people and still be a friends.

Selfish? I think not. Try self-less? My problem is I need to be more selfish.

Fleeing from Sexual Immorality in this Sexual world

baileyseal

I was thinking to myself one day about sexual immorality and how difficult it is to be pure in this sexual world. I was not sure if this was a blog that I should write, so I made a poll on Twitter. The end results blew my mind, and I realized this is something people wanted / needed to hear. This will probably be one of my longer blogs, but here we go…

“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18 NLT)

The reality is that as we live in this world where temptation for sexual sin will always be there. We will never live in a place without that temptation until we get to Heaven. So until then we have to learn and know how to flee from…

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The End of a Season

There are seasons of life that we all go through and when you live a surrendered life, God can do whatever He wants with you. Not many understand this, but I am here for those who walk this “prophetic walk”.

In 2005, I  moved from the city of my birth (NY) and landed in west Florida, living with my Dad. He was up in age and his health was beginning to decline. Initially, I came because I needed to, but God had a plan. I ended up staying and taking care of him until he died in 2011.

I went through a lot, especially in the area of my health. One of the worse things a caregiver can do is neglect themselves and sadly, that is what I did. I got a very good job, but left because of health issues. This took my life in a direction that I’m not so sure I was supposed to go. But God has a way of working things out for our good.

I ended up moving in with an elderly lady who really needed help and that was our arrangement. Again, I found myself as a caregiver. Now don’t think I went into this willingly. It’s one thing to take care of your parent. It’s another thing to take care of someone who is not a relative. But this lady had lost her 35-year-old daughter years ago and had no one to take care of her. So God placed me in that role and gave me enough confirmation to know, I was in the will of God.

Now, because I have heard a lot of gossip that this lady is saying behind my back, I know it’s time for me to make a move. God in his grace has secured a place for me in another city. Still in Florida, but about 30 minutes from where I now live. It’s amazing how you can make a sacrifice and it not really be appreciated. But I am not going to dwell on that. I know what I did was in obedience to God. But guess what? IT’S MY TIME!!

If my life doesn’t seem that interesting or glamorous, just keep watching. I am about to enter a new season and I believe that in this next season, all that has been laying dormant is about to come forth. I decree and declare that 2016 is indeed my year!! And if you can identify with anything I have said, let me tell you, open your mouth and declare that it’s your time too!

Psalm 126