The Kind Of Man I Desire

receprionist I started a new job in June and I am loving where I am working right now! We are a very productive office, but there is a lot of joy and laughter where I am working. The other thing that I am enjoying is meeting a lot of interesting men surrounding work. None of them are eligible, but they are all different and interesting. It just seems like God wants to me pay attention to the type of man I desire. I am learning what I do and do not want.

First let’s start with the man that lives in my building. I think I mentioned him in another blog. Let’s call him Joe. Well I didn’t realize it for a while, but I now see that Joe is really interested in me. I mentioned before that I was not interested, but recently I had to admit to my girlfriends that I am both attracted to him and flattered by his attention. Now, that does not mean I am interested in a relationship, it just means I think he is handsome.

Joe has done a few things that have completely turned me off. I think I mentioned this before, but one day I needed help with my groceries, but he refused to help. I realize he was looking for something in return. He couldn’t just be a gentlemen and help me with my groceries from the taxi to the elevator. Recently, Joe decided to do volunteer work at my job. Coincidence? I don’t think so. As soon as I told him where I was working he ended up volunteering there, the very next week after I told him. Then recently, we hadn’t seen each other for a while (I come in at 1:00 PM and he works in the morning) and the next time I saw him, he complimented me on my new hair style and lipstick and told me how much he had missed me. But even though I am flattered by handsome Joe’s attention, he still is not my cup of tea. One quality I want is a man who is naturally a gentlemen, meaning he doesn’t have to be told and doesn’t have to work at it. That is just who he is. Joe is not that.

So next there is someone else at work who we will call Kevin. He is a hard-working, handsome man who is very friendly, even flirty, but he flirts with a lot of woman. Recently, he introduced me to his “woman” who he explained to me was only his woman from 6:00 PM to 9:00 AM in the morning! Can you imagine a man saying that?? What’s crazy, is she is a beautiful young woman, but he is still not satisfied. So what do I see in Kevin that’s interesting? Well he really is a great conversationalist. I realize that I absolutely love to listen to an interesting man talk!

Now I know Kevin says crazy things on occasion. He told me a tall tale on Friday and I believed every word and then he told me it wasn’t true. lol But I still love having conversations with him. He took the time to explain to me how men think as opposed to women and it was interesting. Very insightful! I love that quality about Kevin. I wouldn’t do well with a man who cannot stimulate me with great conversation. But Kevin is a player or it’s least that is what he exhibits and I want a man who is faithful. I enjoy talking to Kevin, but I doubt he is faithful.

Finally there is Jimmy who was my job counselor. He was the man who was instrumental in me getting into the place where I am working now. I think I also mentioned him previously. He is married and I rarely see him now. Now physically, I am not as attracted to him as the other men. But honestly he is probably most like what I want spiritually. He talks about the Lord with ease and has a relationship with God. But it’s not just all spiritual. But he is most like me. Spiritual is who we are and so it’s easy to talk to someone like this. Both Joe and Kevin go to church, but they are different. But if Jimmy was single, I would definitely be able to settle down with this type of man.

The rest of the guys at the job are very young. Too young to consider, but they are still interesting. They are mostly looking for attention which I won’t give to them because I am old enough to be their mother. One of them wants to be called “Big Sexy” or Mr. XXX and the other one is always saying “it’s hard to stay sexy”. lol It’s really hilarious. But I ignore that because I just won’t go there.

So there it is. I am learning. I can’t wait to meet the man who I can connect with on all levels. Spiritually, a great conversationalist and good to look at. So what do I have to offer? I think I have a lot to offer. I am am intelligent, a great talker, highly organized and a good cook with old school values. I’ve been called “pretty” all of my life. But, sadly, I still feel I have not “arrived” yet. I need a little more time. But when he comes, I plan to be ready!!

The Race Against Time?

agingLet’s face it. We live in an age driven society. And it’s really very American. I know in Japan, older people are very much revered and respected. In Europe, women over 40 are still desired and considered beautiful. Sadly, in American 40, 50 and 60-year-old men want to be with a 20 year old.

I was just reading on Yahoo that singer  Beyoncé Knowles’ 61 year old father, just remarried a woman 48 years old. Now I have to admit, that not too bad for a man his age. At least she wasn’t 25! But I wonder what was so wrong with the wife he married in his youth??

I am at the age where the world would totally disqualify me for anything I am believing God for. But thank God, I am not of this world. But even Christians would question much of what God is saying for those of us who are of a certain age.

And if you quote things about Sarah and Abraham having a child late in life, people will tell you, “well that was then.” They will tell you things like that don’t happen anymore.  Well really? Do the miracles of scripture have an expiration date?

I have to admit I am overwhelmed by the thought of getting older and it’s really more about the number. When people find out my age (like when I have to show my driver’s license) they are usually shocked. Good genes run in the family. I have a 93-year-old uncle who is in excellent health and could pass for 73, so it’s not about looks. It’s really about the value of a woman as she get’s older. It’s kind of hard when men from 20-90 all want a young woman.  Nobody, it’s seems, wants an older woman.

Time, it seems is our enemy, or so the world says. As you get older, it’s important to keep your eyes on God and have His perspective about it all.

Psalm 92:14

King James Version (KJV)

14 They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing;

Love Series: Second Fiddle?

Fiddle3_000As young women growing up, we always imagine the scenario, in which our Boaz would come into our lives. I don’t think I imagined a specific scenario, at least not since, I’ve gotten older, but I will say this; no woman imagines herself being second fiddle! No woman imagines that she will win the heart of a man by DEFAULT!!

Every woman wants the man whom God sends into her life, to recognize that she is special and no woman imagines God’s choice for HER pining over another woman. What a bummer!

To all the single ladies, one day, your value will be acknowledged. Hopefully, soon.

Genesis 2:20-25

New International Version (NIV)

20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam[a] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then theLord God made a woman from the rib[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”

24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Love Series: The Internet Casanova

StoryJust finished watching a 20/20 story called the Internet Casanova, a story about a man who preyed on women online. He was using them, but then he met his match and she set a trap and then it all caught up to him.

This story sounded strangely prophetic to me. I would say to anyone doing this stuff, BEWARE!!

I Love God!

pretty_woman_xlargeI have to be honest and say I am trying my best to distance myself  from something even though I keep getting “words’ to the contrary. (yeah ok, lol) But God knows something that even I no longer want to know lol. But I must admit, when you carry something in your spirit for a long time, it’s not easy to just let it go, even if you want to.

So I was observing something, like God instructed me to do and I have to admit, it susan  doylestarted getting to me and I had to stop looking. That is what let me know that I was not completely over this. So I called a friend and we talked about it for about a half an hour, (just got off the phone) but honestly I was feeling worse. But God knew what I was going through and little did I know that he was going to deliver me INSTANTLY. Now, I am just going to tell you what God said and how I was instantly delivered and I am not being mean. I am just sharing what God did.

So the Lord told me to go to someones Facebook page and I did and sure enough the person had posted some new pictures and God said, that is not going to happen. Then the Lord said to me, this love dialog would not be going on if these two people were face to face, PERIOD. Instantly, what I felt lifted and God reminded me of how men are visual and also reminded me to GET IT TOGETHER and get ready for whoever he has for me. I’m not being mean, but that DELIVERED me and I KNOW what God said is the truth. LOL!!!!! There is NO WAY because GOD SAID IT! That is why I love God!!!!

Esther 2:9

Amplified Bible (AMP)

And the maiden pleased [Hegai] and obtained his favor. And he speedily gave her the things for her purification and her portion of food and the seven chosen maids to be given her from the king’s palace; and he removed her and her maids to the best [apartment] in the harem.

Love Series: The Christian Player

I’ve been a Christian for a very long time and I am very much aware of “Christian Culture”. Yes, we as Christians do have our own culture and that we should. We should not have the same culture as the world. Unfortunately, the world’s culture has very much infiltrated the church. I said all that to say, I’ve seen a lot, especially with how Christian men treat women. Now don’t get offended. I am a woman so I am sharing my perspective. I’m sure some men may have their own story about how they have been treated by women.

In the world a player is a man who deals with multiple women at the same time. In the world he would be sleeping with or dating many different women at the same time and rarely would these women know about each other. They would all think they were the only one. A player leads multiple women on, but in the world the player rarely makes a choice.

I’ve seen this same mentality in the church. I’ve watched ministers lead on and promise multiple women that they were “the one” only to find who they think they want and then make all the other woman feel they are crazy or stalkers, or that the women are doing something wrong for believing they were the one, when that man was the one who encouraged it in the first place. This men of God is DISPLEASING to God and God is going to deal with it.

I watched one minister do this. In fact there was a woman who had a ring and had announced their engagement in her church, meanwhile he was moving on to another woman and she didn’t even know it. Yes this stuff really happens in the church. Well he finally got married to who he wanted and it turned out to be his worst nightmare and sadly he is on his third or fourth marriage. This was his reaping process for hurting all these woman.

I know of a single Pastor who also led on many women that came to his church. The reason I know is because I was one of them. In my case he seriously was considering marrying me, but God did not allow it. (thank you father). Do you know that man is still single to this day and that was about 11 years ago? He played so many women he never found his rib.

I  also see that some Christian men like to play games with women and then think they are going to find a sweet little angel and live happily ever after leaving a trail of 5,000 broken hearts along the way (women THEY misled) Not so. God is going to start dealing with the Christian player. God is tired of all of the lies and the heart break that has been caused. Trust me; I know what I’m talking about.

This is not a man bashing blog. I’m writing this because I keep seeing so much heartbreak amongst God’s handmaids (and have experienced it myself) and it shouldn’t be.

Men of God don’t have to function like this. I’m reminded of one of my brothers. He’s just a real good guy. No trail of women in and out of his life. Just working hard and waiting on God and that is the way it should be!!!!

Galatians 6:7

Amplified Bible (AMP)

7Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at (scorned, disdained, or mocked [a]by mere pretensions or professions, or by His precepts being set aside.) [He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows, that and [b]that only is what he will reap.