In the past, I have shared on this blog, a vision about a mate, that I believed God gave me, It was a very long journey that recently ended, when this man made his choice and said that he knew who God has sent him as his wife and it wasn’t me. Case closed. The end.
I am a woman with tenacious faith, but where it comes to a man selecting a wife, that is where my faith ends. Yes, I could keep proclaiming what I feel God is saying because I feel the scenario fits, but I think it would be futile. After all we are dealing with the will of a man. God never forces anything on us and especially in the area of marriage. No man or woman is going to marry someone by force. Men and women marry because they feel that they love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Me holding on, is not wise. I don’t believe for a minute that God is requiring that or me and so, I have and am moving on as best as I can. This couple feel God has divinely placed them together, so who am I to argue?
It’s days like today that have the ability to throw me back into that mode of believing, but trust me that is NOT what I want to do and it’s not what I have wanted to do in a long time. A woman deserves to be loved and cherished and not rejected and pushed away and I have been rejected and pushed away, which is fine. I truly believe God has someone else for me.
So this morning I woke up after having 3 dreams. That last one was about my best friend but the first one was about the vision man. In that dream I was sitting in what looked to be a community center, with round tables like that was a banquet. I was aware that the woman this man says he is in love with was there. I could see her out of the corner or my eye, although we did not greet one another.
The vision man came in and he looked over towards the one he loved. They had not met each other yet, so he looked from afar and then walked away and then came back. Meanwhile, I was sitting talking to Britney Spears. Mid-conversation, she jumped up and ran out of the venue to throw up. I immediately thought she was pregnant. Earlier, Brittany came in and was talking to the vision man. They conversed as though they knew each other.
Well the vision man started talking to the woman who he is in love with from a distance, but he came and stood right next to me. I also heard him say something to her about her shoes, but by then he was acting as though they were already married even though they weren’t.
Well I woke up from the dream only to “hear” a bunch of stuff proclaiming that the vision man has made his choice and was already happily married etc, etc. When I first woke up, I didn’t understand the dream because I have ALREADY accepted the inevitable about him marrying someone else, so why would God be showing me what I already believe is going to happen? Well I believe God was preparing me for what I was about to hear/see.
The next part of the dream was baffling to me. I saw some white wolves and they were climbing up the side of the building that I grew up in. I was in one of the rooms that was once my room. Upstairs the wolves were literally scaling the walls. trying to get into the upstairs apartment. In the dream my family and I hid ourselves from the wolves.
I began to pray and ask God about this dream he led me to look up wolf and the definition said that a white wolf represents victory and valor. Well low and behold the wolves were trying to get in the upstairs neighbors house and in the dream I remember telling someone the JACKSON family used to live upstairs. When I woke up and started thinking I remembered my Michael Jackson dream. In the dream the female party of this couple was coming to meet the vision man and he turned into Michael Jackson. I always felt it meant they would not meet.
Now this is not witchcraft or voodoo (I have been accused of that). This is just dreams that God gave me.
Is God telling me there is still hope? Is the Lord telling me I have the victory and I need to be brave in this battle? Is God reminding me what he showed me in the Michael Jackson dream. Can’t say I am sure. I thought this was over. But is it really over?
In the dream when the vision man stood right next to me, I thought he did it on purpose to taunt me. When I looked up the word standing, it meant to take a stand. When I heard/saw what I did in the natural, part of me felt it was to throw out at me or it was especially to get my attention, but I don’t know. It’s still very odd to me that this has all played out publicly in cyberspace. People do things for a reason.
Even if something catastrophic took place between these two (not wishing it on them) there is one problem that I have, and that is me. My wounds are so deep I don’t think I could accept this. But that is probably NOT what God is saying, so I will be just fine.
Whatever happens, I will be happy for them. I only want God’s perfect will! From the outside, it looks like the perfect love story, but I know the behind the scenes and it’s not. But if they have found true love that holds up outside of cyberspace, God bless them. My life will go on and I will be JUST FINE! And God will have someone better!
Isaiah 46:10 New International Version (NIV)
10 I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say, ‘My purpose will stand,
and I will do all that I please.’