Going Back?

So I’ve been talking about this move back to New York, and I knew that the house I used to live in was for sale. So I decided to do a search on Zillow and was shocked to find out it finally sold! I just assumed it would still be on the market. So that changes some of what I see. Of course everything I shared was what I was desiring by faith and really wasn’t in the realm of possibility in the natural. But that was no problem for me.

Just because I was seeing this in no way means it’s God’s will. In this case, it had a lot to do with desire and lack of vision. But there was something comforting about thinking I could go back. But honestly, if you think about it, is God really calling us to go back? I was looking at the house on googlemaps and it just looks like I would be going backwards, not going forward. I’m sure God has something better.

new-york-city-night-skylineThe problem is, I have lost my vision for the future. Some things that I have seen are no longer in the realm of possibility in my mind. So when we feel like we don’t have a vision, we create one, even if it’s not God.

Do I really want to go back? I felt like I did, but now a big part of what I saw for myself, appears to be gone. But anyway…let me stop rambling. I really need to get in the face of God and get a renewed vision for the future because now it seems I have none. Strange how a house being sold could change my direction. Well maybe.

Proverbs 29:18

King James Version (KJV)

18 Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

Proverbs 29:18

New International Version (NIV)

18 Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint;
but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.

What I See For Myself

kitchen_cabinet_med_brownIf I could paint a picture of the vision I have for the next year (starting now), it would look something like this: (don’t judge me, lol) I see myself with 3 or 4 income properties (don’t worry about the how) and I see myself living in my old house in the Bronx New York. Isn’t that odd? Of course in my vision, I own the house and I am now living on the second floor, instead of the first floor (it’s a three family house).

I used to dream of owning the house and renovating it. Probably with kitchens from Ikea. Something like the picture above. My own apartment would have that cozy New York look. The second floor has 3 bedrooms, but it’s still cozy.

I see myself going to Culinary School in the Manhattan. I don’t want to go below 23rd street. Just a thing I’ve had since 911. I was watching You’ve Got Mail recently and it just made me homesick. There is nothing like New York at Christmas time.rockefeller center

If I move I am going to take much more advantage of the cultural part of the city. When I was home in 2011, I went to see two Broadway plays and went to City Island (an island of seafood restaurants) twice. Some New Yorker’s have a bad habit of living in the city, but not enjoying it.

I was talking to my friend from high school the other day and she has broken up with her finance’ and I know we would be hanging out again. My other best friend is divorced. Sometimes it’s hard to find friends to hang out with when you get to a certain age because everyone is married, but that wouldn’t be a problem.

Finally, I see myself dating in the city. Growing up, I developed a taste for Opera because my mother listened to Opera and I have been to the Lincoln Center before, but I want to go again. Whoever I am dating may not like Opera, so I may go by myself. But this is just what I see for myself, if I go back to the city.


Oh, and also, I see myself DRIVING in the city, which I rarely did.  I’ve been driving a bit down here and I think I can see myself driving in the city.

I know exactly where I would go for church as well. My brother started a new ministry in Harlem and that is where I would be. Recently, a very well-known singer has expressed interest in visiting. I would love to be there the Saturday that she attends. 😉

If I stay here in Florida, I see nothing. That says a lot doesn’t it?

Proverbs 19:21 New International Version (NIV)

21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Following God

new yorkI’m not going to say I’m an expert, but I know when God is leading me to do something and right now I cannot seem to get NY out of my mind. I’m not going to say I’m moving back, but I am going to say, that I feel it’s time to take a trip. So right now I am thinking about taking a two-week trip. With no door opening here,  I have the time.

My life has always been about following the prompting of the Lord. Perhaps a divine appointment awaits me in New York City. You never know. All I know is I can’t shake New York, so I think to NY I will go! 😉

I’m excited. Sitting here just looking is not getting it. God is up to something and God is ALWAYS about movement!

John 2:5

New International Version (NIV)

5 His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

Ready For Change!

bg12As I look back over the last 8 years here in Florida, I feel strongly that this season may be coming to an end.  Florida was the place that God sent me to care for my Dad at the end of his life.  And since he has been gone for two years now, I’m sensing that there is a change.

I’ve been thinking a lot about NY and a fellow blogger mentioned that perhaps I should try to get involved in a church and get more involved socially, but I have to say, Florida, just had not been a place where I could put down roots no matter how hard I tried. And yes, I will be taking myself wherever I go, however, New York is my home and I still have friends, family and I would immediately have a church home because my brother is a Pastor. Everything I am missing in my life is back home.

I can see it. I’s been a hard summer which has turned me off to this weather. I’m longing for change of seasons again and can’t imagine spending another holiday season isolated from family, so we will see.

Yes, I have been looking for jobs, and there are no doors opening. Yesterday, I had to go to my storage unit and as I opened it, I prayed for a place to call my own. I’m tired and I am ready to make a change! Nothing is written in stone, but I am doing some serious thinking. But then again, I could just need to take a visit.

The bottom line is what is God saying?

Proverbs 3:5-6

New International Version (NIV)

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]


Random Thoughts 2

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERAIt’s been so very hot here in Florida that I’m turned off! Since May it’s been so very hot. I can’t stand it anymore. ENOUGH! This morning I was watching GMA and I started missing home (New York). I honestly do miss the change of seasons. When I first moved to Florida, the first two years were a nightmare. I wouldn’t remember it was winter until I talked to my friends or family up north.

I miss fall clothing and coats and boots. Not so much the snow, but I do enjoy the snow some times. I do miss the cold weather around holiday, especially Christmas. To me 80 degree weather and Christmas just don’t mix.

I’m at the place where it’s time to make a change. I have been thinking about moving. Perhaps now is the time. Something is missing and I can’t go on without finding out what I need to do at this point in time.

coats and boots

Hidden, But About to be Revealed.

hiddenYesterday evening I went to church with the the lady I am residing with and it was a concert and at first I had no desire to go, but went anyway., I really enjoy hearing the Word of God, but at the last minute, I decided to go and boy am I glad I did, because God really ministered to me in a most unusual way.

When we first arrived at the church, I was struck by how the building looked. As I sat there and took it all in, it reminded me of the many church services I had been to (African-American) in New York, visiting with either my mother or one of my brothers in ministry.

Sitting in church, I recalled being in church for years, “pregnant” with the visions of God. I remembered times in which I “miscarried” vision and then I remembered God “impregnating me again”. As I sat there it became apparent that I am still waiting on manifestation of some things after all these years! But then I heard God speak in my spirit and let me know that I was being hidden for a reason, but very soon, HE was going to unveil me! WOW!

I’ve been online for many years and I’ve only posted one picture and I’ve not been ‘out there” like most people are. And it’s more than just about a picture. It’s more about God bringing me forward at a specific time.

God has a reason for keeping us hidden. We have to allow the Lord to bring us forward and not push ourselves forward to the front of the line.

Matthew 20:16

King James Version (KJV)

16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.

Here is a link to a great message about being hidden:

Maybe You’re Being Hidden On Purpose