Was it Valentines Day?

Valentines day came and went and I wouldn’t have remembered it was Valentines day if it were not for a few friends texting me to wish me a happy Valentines day. But I would have figured it out when I got to my job. I’m working part time at a school and the kids were working on Valentines projects that day.

I am not one to get depressed because I don’t have a partner to share this holiday with. The day just comes and goes like any other day. When the time is right it will happen and I will enjoy it then. Meanwhile, I am just on a mission to live life to the fullest.

Someone shared something on Instagram and I thought I would share it right here. It’s true. People put a lot of emphasis on love and being loved by someone and yes, it’s important, but not more important than God’s unconditional love for us. Here is the post:

professorphanor

 

We all need to be #loved. That’s a #fact. We all desperately need massive doses of love in our life to be #healthy individuals. #God says, “I want to #love you.” God is love, and he knows you need to be loved.
But, second, we develop the false idea that our need to be loved is solely dependent upon one person or a group of people. When you expect someone else to meet 100 percent of your need for love, you’re asking for #trouble. You’re setting yourself up for hurt and opening the #door for the fear of rejection. When you look to any other person besides God to meet all your love needs, he or she can’t. There is no human being alive that can love you as completely and as fully as you need to be loved, and there never will be. Only God can do that.
Does God ever love us through other people? Of course. Does God want us to love others? Yes. Does he want to use us as #channels of love? Absolutely.
But, you will never have all your needs met by any person or group of people. God never meant it to be that way. They just don’t have enough love. #Human love is limited. God’s love is #unlimited and #unconditional. No matter how deep your need is, he can fill it.

So this #Valentine’s Day, remember that God’s love is the only unlimited love that is possible.
I ❤️ you!

Enough said!!

Who Knew?

I was thinking about what to post and the story of my former Bishop came to mind. I sat under his leadership for about 2 years.

My family had known he and his wife at the time, for many years and while I sat under his leadership, his beautiful wife was dealing with cancer. It seemed as though she had overcome, but sadly she did not and she went home to be with the Lord.

They had been married for many years and I can only imagine his grief in losing his mate of so many years. I believe they were married over 30 years.

Because the Bishop was a Godly man, he knew that he needed to be married again so he sought the Lord concerning another wife and God led him to his God ordained wife and I believe they have been married a couple of years now. I know you are probably thinking that there is nothing really unusual about the story. Here is where it gets amazing:

I heard him share his testimony about his new wife and how years earlier God had given her a prophetic word, through him, about them working in ministry together and him being a covering for her. At the time, he was married to his first wife so naturally, it was all about ministry. He shared that he tried to get together with her for ministry, but God did not allow it. He never imagined that marriage would be the outcome of that prophetic word spoken years earlier. Fast forward they are working together in ministry, Pastors of a church and of course he is her covering, both spiritually and as her husband.

When I first heard this story it blew my mind. It was like I saw how God’s ways really are. God knew that this man would lose his wife and the provision was made and announced many years earlier for the next choice. What I love the most is how happy he is to be with his new wife. God gave him just what he needed!

Listen, we don’t know what is down the road. But God does. And every provision has been made, whether it’s a mate, a job, a move, business etc. No matter what, trust Him!

Isaiah 55:8-9King James Version (KJV)

⁸ For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

⁹ For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Not Predicting, Just Sharing What I Saw

I didn’t think I would be back posting so soon, but then I remembered a prophetic word that I received earlier this week. God was letting me know that I was on assignment this week and to pay attention. I almost missed it. I have been actively ignoring something for a while now, for my own sanity. But I am good now. I feel unaffected by it now. I feel healed.

So I was talking about vision yesterday and if you have read my blog in the past you know I believe God showed me my future with a particular person (yeah, I know). I feel the same way. But I didn’t make this up, so who am I to argue.

The Lord showed it to me many years ago. God said I would see this man go through many relationships and that I would “speak” prophetically to the relationships, but in the end, he and I would be together. And the journey began.

Two weeks after I received that word he announced publicly that he had a girlfriend and that is pretty much how it’s been. Me, looking and watching from afar. But then God told me he was going to connect me with someone who knew what was going on in his inner circle and God would show me some things and that happened. Oh but wait, before that God said he would give me a means of communicating with him, which was shown to me in a dream and that happened. You see this man was not in my circle and he is at a different status level.

I can’t tell you everything that has been shown to me and confirmed, but the main part that was shown to me was that he would get tangled up with a friend of mine and come very close to marrying her. This was revealed through the dreams of a couple of friends. Well this has indeed happened. He says she is the love of his life, so who am I to argue? But this has been a very hard pill to swallow. But strangely, it’s been part of the plan.

They have not met yet, but it seems they are about to. But God showed me they wouldn’t or so that is my interpretation of the dream I had. Now this may seem strange to some, but I know if I didn’t have all these warnings, dreams and visions, I would not have had the grace to hold on this long until he and I met.

So what do I do when it seems that my vision will end in another way? All I can do is watch and see. I know I cannot stop two people who seem to want to be together from getting together. Only God can do that. God told me, he spoke to this man about me, but he rejected it and my friend told me God spoke to her about ANOTHER man, but they both seem to be drawn to each other. So we will see.

I feel different now. This past week God has awakened and warned me that this was coming. Whether it will happen is up to God. I am not making any predictions. I am just sharing what I saw years ahead of time.

I had a dream a while ago. I saw my friend happy to be meeting this man. As she started on her journey, she was happy, but just when she was about to meet him, he turned into Michael Jackson. I have never once thought it meant he would die. I always felt, it meant, her chances of meeting him were like her chances of meeting Michael Jackson.

Is this an attempt to stop something from happening? No it’s not. I know that is not possible anyway. Just an attempt to share what I see. I’m on assignment.

Habakkuk 2:3 New King James Version (NKJV)

³ For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.

On a Personal Note..lol

I did want to say this…in the past I have used this blog as a place to vent about my life. It did resonate with some people, but if I could turn back the hands of time, I would never have shared anything about vision.

Vision is such a personal thing and it’s so  fragile. Whether it’s a vision about a business, having a house, a family etc, my recommendation is keep it to yourself. If you put it out there it can change the entire trajectory of where God wants it to go. And ladies, whatever you do, DO NOT share anything of a personal nature about a specific mate on a blog, or to a person. Trust me you will live to regret it.

I look back now and view it all as a waste of time. It may not have been, but it certainly feels like it. I think my sharing did more damage than Good. When God spoke to Mary, the mother of Jesus, she quietly pondered those things in her heart. She didn’t broadcast them and even if you don’t mean it that way, it will come across that way.

As for me and Boaz (whoever that is) I am praying for God’s perfect will to be done in my life. If that includes a husband, nice. But if it doesn’t include one, maybe even better. I don’t think I have the gift to be single, but time is late and I may be able to coast on into eternity without a mate (my best friend HATES to hear me say that) lol.

One thing I do know is that your mate will want to be with you and if he doesn’t, he is not the one. You won’t have to convince him of who he is and if God’s speaks to him and he says no, God will send you someone better. That’s is all I have to say about this subject. I’m going to try to get to “Caitlynn Jenner” soon.

Luke 2:19New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁹ But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.

Vision?

In the past, I have shared on this blog, a vision about a mate, that I believed God gave me, It was a very long journey that recently ended, when this man made his choice and said that he knew who God has sent him as his wife and it wasn’t me. Case closed. The end.

I am a woman with tenacious faith, but where it comes to a man selecting a wife, that is where my faith ends. Yes, I could keep proclaiming what I feel God is saying because I feel the scenario fits, but I think it would be futile. After all we are dealing with the will of a man. God never forces anything on us and especially in the area of marriage. No man or woman is going to marry someone by force. Men and women marry because they feel that they love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Me holding on, is not wise. I don’t believe for a minute that God is requiring that or me and so, I have and am moving on as best as I can. This couple feel God has divinely placed them together, so who am I to argue?

It’s days like today that have the ability to throw me back into that mode of believing, but trust me that is NOT what I want to do and it’s not what I have wanted to do in a long time. A woman deserves to be loved and cherished and not rejected and pushed away and I have been rejected and pushed away, which is fine. I truly believe God has someone else for me.

So this morning I woke up after having 3 dreams. That last one was about my best friend but the first one was about the vision man. In that dream I was sitting in what looked to be a community center, with round tables like that was a banquet. I was aware that the woman this man says he is in love with was there. I could see her out of the corner or my eye, although we did not greet one another.

The vision man came in and he looked over towards the one he loved. They had not met each other yet, so he looked from afar and then walked away and then came back. Meanwhile, I was sitting talking to Britney Spears. Mid-conversation, she jumped up and ran out of the venue to throw up. I immediately thought she was pregnant. Earlier, Brittany came in and was talking to the vision man. They conversed as though they knew each other.

Well the vision man started talking to the woman who he is in love with from a distance, but he came and stood right next to me. I also heard him say something to her about her shoes, but by then he was acting as though they were already married even though they weren’t.

Well I woke up from the dream only to “hear” a bunch of stuff proclaiming that the vision man  has made his choice and was already happily married etc, etc. When I first woke up, I didn’t understand the dream because I have ALREADY accepted the inevitable about him marrying someone else, so why would God be showing me what I already believe is going to happen? Well I believe God was preparing me for what I was about to hear/see.

The next part of the dream was baffling to me. I saw some white wolves and they were climbing up the side of the building that I grew up in. I was in one of the rooms that was once my room. Upstairs the wolves were literally scaling the walls. trying to get into the upstairs apartment. In the dream my family and I hid ourselves from the wolves.

I began to pray and ask God about this dream he led me to look up wolf and the definition said that a white wolf represents victory and valor. Well low and behold the wolves were trying to get in the upstairs neighbors house and in the dream I remember telling someone the JACKSON family used to live upstairs. When I woke up and started thinking I remembered my Michael Jackson dream. In the dream the female party of this couple was coming to meet the vision man and he turned into Michael Jackson. I always felt it meant they would not meet.

Now this is not witchcraft or  voodoo (I have been accused of that). This is just dreams that God gave me.

Is God telling me there is still hope? Is the Lord telling me I have the victory and I need to be brave in this battle? Is God reminding me what he showed me in the Michael Jackson dream. Can’t say I am sure. I thought this was over. But is it really over?

In the dream when the vision man stood right next to me, I thought he did it on purpose to taunt me. When I looked up the word standing, it meant to take a stand. When I heard/saw what I did in the natural, part of me felt it was to throw out at me or it was especially to get my attention, but I don’t know. It’s still very odd to me that this has all played out publicly in cyberspace. People do things for a reason.

Even if something catastrophic took place between these two (not wishing it on them) there is one problem that I have, and that is me. My wounds are so deep I don’t think I could accept this. But that is probably NOT what God is saying, so I will be just fine.

Whatever happens, I will be happy for them. I only want God’s perfect will! From the outside, it looks like the perfect love story, but I know the behind the scenes and it’s not. But if they have found true love that holds up outside of cyberspace, God bless them. My life will go on and I will be JUST FINE! And God will have someone better!

Isaiah 46:10 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁰ I make known the end from the beginning,
    from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say, ‘My purpose will stand,
    and I will do all that I please.’

When Vision Dies

This is probably the hardest post I have had to write. It’s hard because I don’t yet understand all that I have gone through.

I’ve share so much about vision on this blog and everything God shared with me has happened. That is what makes it so difficult to understand. I could see if nothing that God showed me had happened, but it’s quite the opposite. EVERYTHING the Lord has showed me, has happened, even down to the current circumstance.

I believed God had showed me a specific man as a mate. The Lord opened a door of communication, the Lord told me he would connect me with someone who would give me insight on that mans life, God showed me, he would get tangled up with a friend of mine and that has happened. Yet I feel strongly that this is the end. So what do I do with all God showed me?

The vision started with God saying to me, he will come VERY CLOSE to marrying someone, but in the end, he and I would end up together. But right now that is not in the realm of possibility. He has made it quite clear that he has found the one he loves the one perfectly suited for him.

In the past, I have felt to ignore all that I saw and heard and still believe, but I no longer feel that way anymore. I believe I should embrace and accept all that they (the couple) are saying and wish them the best.

Here is my dilemina. What do I do with all that was shown to me in dreams and visions and manifestations? I can’t imaging being able to embrace anything that God says to me from now on.

I have been accused of working witchcraft and voodoo. I guess that is the only way for them to explain this. But I heard everything I shared ahead of time, But it’s not going to happen, so I must find a way to make peace with this situation and move on.

I don’t have a problem admitting if I am wrong. The problem is that from what I heard, I was not wrong.

So what was all of that? Was it deception? Well how could it be. I did not ask for this, nor set my sights on this. Perhaps something happened and something changed and God decided this is no longer good for me.  Well, I just have to live with it.

At this point even though the circumstances still seems to fit, I feel it would not be good to hold on. God knows and knew something about this that I don’t. My only question is why did God reveal it in the first place?

I wish I could tie this up in a neat bow and say that it was  never God. Maybe it wasn’t. Again, I am left with what I saw and heard and what manifested. But more has manifested for someone else, so I must let go forever. It’s heart wrenching!

P.S. And to the gentlemen who was the object of this vision, I sincerely apologize for anything I have done. Please know I only shared what I saw. I wish you only the best and am and will continue to be happy for you! God bless!