Restoration of the Vision pt.1

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georgiaI don’t know why I am up at 5:15am writing, but I felt strongly that I needed to and I have learned when prompted, I need to obey. The Lord always has a reason as to the why.

Recently (in the past few months) the Lord has restored a vision he gave me about relocating and having a family.  I was sharing in my last post how we can replace a right vision with a wrong one and that is what I did. But I  am back on track now and let me tell you how God got my attention.

God used two very miserable holidays to get my attention. That would be Thanksgiving and Christmas. I come from a very large family and since I have been in Florida, I have been far from family. I do have a half-sister who lives 15 minutes away, but sadly she is pretty anti-social. But God getting my attention really started last summer when hurricane Irma came and my sister-in-law made a plea to me to “come to Georgia” to avoid the storm. Although I didn’t go to avoid the storm, I knew God was speaking to me through her words. But I was still very blind because I thought God just wanted me to take a trip. So I started planning a trip.

I was all set to take this trip, but I didn’t have one thing and that was the provision. I know that may sound crazy to some, but when you live by faith, sometimes it’s just that way. I’ve had God provide for me on the same day that I needed to take a trip, so I know it can happen. After I didn’t go to Georgia, I was very disappointed, but I also knew there was a reason. I just didn’t understand it yet. Fast forward to two miserable holidays. Thanksgiving was a nightmare. I have never been that depressed, but after Thanksgiving I had a breakthrough.

One night the Lord told me to leave the television on while I was sleeping. I never intentionally sleep with the television on, but I obeyed the voice of the Lord and put the TV on the Christian Station (TBN) and drifted off to sleep. Around 5 am I was awakened to Pastor John Gray from Joel Osteens church sharing how he met his wife in Atlanta. He said that God spoke to him to move there and God spoke to her to move there and that was the place they met. Well honestly I stared at the TV in disbelief. You see, I had so buried the vision that I was baffled. But God woke me up in time to hear what Pastor Gray was saying. You see the Lord blocked my trip because he was talking about a geographical move, not a trip.

For the next few weeks I pondered it in my heart and it wasn’t until I said yes to the Lord again, that the misery and depression lifted and I knew God was telling me that if I wanted to have a mate and a family, I would have to relocate to Georgia. And if I didn’t relocate it wasn’t going to happen. All I could say was yes Lord!! (to be continued)

Genesis 12:1Living Bible (TLB)

12 God had told Abram, “Leave your own country behind you, and your own people, and go to the land I will guide you to.

 

On a Personal Note..lol

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I did want to say this…in the past I have used this blog as a place to vent about my life. It did resonate with some people, but if I could turn back the hands of time, I would never have shared anything about vision.

Vision is such a personal thing and it’s so  fragile. Whether it’s a vision about a business, having a house, a family etc, my recommendation is keep it to yourself. If you put it out there it can change the entire trajectory of where God wants it to go. And ladies, whatever you do, DO NOT share anything of a personal nature about a specific mate on a blog, or to a person. Trust me you will live to regret it.

I look back now and view it all as a waste of time. It may not have been, but it certainly feels like it. I think my sharing did more damage than Good. When God spoke to Mary, the mother of Jesus, she quietly pondered those things in her heart. She didn’t broadcast them and even if you don’t mean it that way, it will come across that way.

As for me and Boaz (whoever that is) I am praying for God’s perfect will to be done in my life. If that includes a husband, nice. But if it doesn’t include one, maybe even better. I don’t think I have the gift to be single, but time is late and I may be able to coast on into eternity without a mate (my best friend HATES to hear me say that) lol.

One thing I do know is that your mate will want to be with you and if he doesn’t, he is not the one. You won’t have to convince him of who he is and if God’s speaks to him and he says no, God will send you someone better. That’s is all I have to say about this subject. I’m going to try to get to “Caitlynn Jenner” soon.

Luke 2:19New King James Version (NKJV)

19 But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.

Vision?

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IMG_8005In the past, I have shared on this blog, a vision about a mate, that I believed God gave me, It was a very long journey that recently ended, when this man made his choice and said that he knew who God has sent him as his wife and it wasn’t me. Case closed. The end.

I am a woman with tenacious faith, but where it comes to a man selecting a wife, that is where my faith ends. Yes, I could keep proclaiming what I feel God is saying because I feel the scenario fits, but I think it would be futile. After all we are dealing with the will of a man. God never forces anything on us and especially in the area of marriage. No man or woman is going to marry someone by force. Men and women marry because they feel that they love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Me holding on, is not wise. I don’t believe for a minute that God is requiring that or me and so, I have and am moving on as best as I can. This couple feel God has divinely placed them together, so who am I to argue?

It’s days like today that have the ability to throw me back into that mode of believing, but trust me that is NOT what I want to do and it’s not what I have wanted to do in a long time. A woman deserves to be loved and cherished and not rejected and pushed away and I have been rejected and pushed away, which is fine. I truly believe God has someone else for me.

So this morning I woke up after having 3 dreams. That last one was about my best friend but the first one was about the vision man. In that dream I was sitting in what looked to be a community center, with round tables like that was a banquet. I was aware that the woman this man says he is in love with was there. I could see her out of the corner or my eye, although we did not greet one another.

The vision man came in and he looked over towards the one he loved. They had not met each other yet, so he looked from afar and then walked away and then came back. Meanwhile, I was sitting talking to Britney Spears. Mid-conversation, she jumped up and ran out of the venue to throw up. I immediately thought she was pregnant. Earlier, Brittany came in and was talking to the vision man. They conversed as though they knew each other.

Well the vision man started talking to the woman who he is in love with from a distance, but he came and stood right next to me. I also heard him say something to her about her shoes, but by then he was acting as though they were already married even though they weren’t.

Well I woke up from the dream only to “hear” a bunch of stuff proclaiming that the vision man  has made his choice and was already happily married etc, etc. When I first woke up, I didn’t understand the dream because I have ALREADY accepted the inevitable about him marrying someone else, so why would God be showing me what I already believe is going to happen? Well I believe God was preparing me for what I was about to hear/see.

The next part of the dream was baffling to me. I saw some white wolves and they were climbing up the side of the building that I grew up in. I was in one of the rooms that was once my room. Upstairs the wolves were literally scaling the walls. trying to get into the upstairs apartment. In the dream my family and I hid ourselves from the wolves.

I began to pray and ask God about this dream he led me to look up wolf and the definition said that a white wolf represents victory and valor. Well low and behold the wolves were trying to get in the upstairs neighbors house and in the dream I remember telling someone the JACKSON family used to live upstairs. When I woke up and started thinking I remembered my Michael Jackson dream. In the dream the female party of this couple was coming to meet the vision man and he turned into Michael Jackson. I always felt it meant they would not meet.

Now this is not witchcraft or  voodoo (I have been accused of that). This is just dreams that God gave me.

Is God telling me there is still hope? Is the Lord telling me I have the victory and I need to be brave in this battle? Is God reminding me what he showed me in the Michael Jackson dream. Can’t say I am sure. I thought this was over. But is it really over?

In the dream when the vision man stood right next to me, I thought he did it on purpose to taunt me. When I looked up the word standing, it meant to take a stand. When I heard/saw what I did in the natural, part of me felt it was to throw out at me or it was especially to get my attention, but I don’t know. It’s still very odd to me that this has all played out publicly in cyberspace. People do things for a reason.

Even if something catastrophic took place between these two (not wishing it on them) there is one problem that I have, and that is me. My wounds are so deep I don’t think I could accept this. But that is probably NOT what God is saying, so I will be just fine.

Whatever happens, I will be happy for them. I only want God’s perfect will! From the outside, it looks like the perfect love story, but I know the behind the scenes and it’s not. But if they have found true love that holds up outside of cyberspace, God bless them. My life will go on and I will be JUST FINE! And God will have someone better!

Isaiah 46:10 New International Version (NIV)

10 I make known the end from the beginning,
    from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say, ‘My purpose will stand,
    and I will do all that I please.’