Great, Powerful and Flawed

I have a decided to start reading more. When I was younger, I used to order books from the school book club and couldn’t wait for them to come. It was like Christmas for me. Then, after I went to bed, I would crack my bedroom door open, so that I could get light from the hallway and sneak and read my books under the covers. That is how much I loved reading.

I have to say that I stopped reading for a while for a few reasons, which I won’t go into, but now suddenly, I have an insatiable appetite for reading. Right now I’m interested in Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, President John F. Kennedy, Malcolm X and Maya Angelou. I’m also getting ready to go back to school and get my degree. It’s my biggest regret that I did not finish college. But that is about to change.

But that is not what this blog is about. I’ve made a new commitment to write on this blog again, but my posts will not resemble anything from the past. That is done and I’m on to a new future. I am going to finish school, write a few books and read, read, read. Which brings me to the book I just got finished reading.

The name of the book was called “I Shared the Dream” by Georgia Davis Powers. Georgia, who was the first Black senator and first woman senator in the state of Kentucky. She was elected in 1967 and served for 21 years. But I must admit that the reason I read the book is because I read she had an affair with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Many people don’t want to accept this, but Georgia was with Dr. King the night before he was assassinated. I know this to be true only because my oldest brother was mentored by a minister who was in Dr. Kings inner circle. This man confirmed it to my brother.

I remember when I first heard about Dr. Kings infidelities, I was shocked like most people. I remember my Dad, who drove cab in NY for many years telling us how he picked up Dr. King in his cab and how Dr. King lit up a cigarette and he was surprised and we were too (when he told us). But it’s also true, Dr. King was a smoker.

Well as I read Georgia Powers book, I started thinking about men and how there is nothing worse than putting another human being on a pedestal. Women, I think, have this problem more than men. And don’t let him be a man of wealth, prestige or fame. We go nuts!

Georgia was a few years older than Dr. King, middle aged, separated from her husband and not feeling very good about herself. And boom. This civil rights icon wants to take their friendship to another level and she just could not resist. It didn’t help that she had a dream that she was intimate with him, even though, she never had those feeling about him before. I have real issues with cheating, but I actually saw and understood how this could happen to a woman. Even me.

The affair part of their relationship lasted about a year until Dr. Kings death and I believe she was the last woman with him before he died. Not even his wife had been with him (and I mean both physically and sexually). The book dealt with much more than their affair. I found it quite interesting to hear the behind the scenes during that time and also about her own political career.

She seemed to gloat a bit, which women tend to do, when they have been singled out by a “special” man. You can tell that she thought she was the only mistress, but sadly, that is just not true. She also seemed unrepentant. Almost like it was her destiny to be intimate with this great man. I think she had a right to tell her story, but I have to say I was disappointed that she chose to tell it while Coretta Scott King was still alive.

It’s so hard for us to see our “heroes” this way. For many it takes away from their greatness and I have to say I have felt that way. But when we choose to see our heroes as they are, which is human, we will be able to see the good and the bad and appreciate them for what they did.

Georgia Davis Powers was very flawed like us all. She was a serial cheater, but she did a lot for civil rights and the state of Kentucky. She will have to stand before God for how she lived in her personal life as we all will. She is 91 years old still living with her husband.


I’m Only Human

Ugh! I’m mad at myself. I have had some issues in the past couple of days and my behavior has been less than stellar. I’ve really been acting our of character. It’s interesting how I am dealing with emotions that have been lying dormant, and now that they are surfacing, I don’t know how to handle it.

Yes, I’m being vague for a reason. Often when we’ve not dealt with certain emotions in the past, we never know how we will react. But then when certain emotions surface, and we don’t know how to handle it, we may see a different side of ourselves that we don’t even recognize.

Here is an example. I’m not a mother, but when my best friend started having children, I quickly learned that there is no bond on earth, like the bond between a mother and her child. If you want to see the sweetest most demure, mild-mannered woman turn into a lioness, just mess with her child. She will become someone that you don’t recognize.

This can be true about anything. I recently had to ask someone to stop sharing my business with everyone. I really dislike that. It may be something different for you, than it is for me, but we all have something that will make us become someone else.

So I saw myself become someone different and I didn’t like what I saw. This is not the first time this has happened. But it’s been over the same issue. But at the root of it is that I care, more than I want to admit, so that is why I get so upset concerning this particular matter.

I beat myself up all day yesterday and then I had to let it go. The truth of the matter is that none of us is perfect. Even in Christ, we may do stupid stuff. We may have areas, where we have not quite matured. Whatever the case, at the end of the day, I had to forgive myself and realize that after all, I’m only human.

2 Corinthians 4:7 New King James Version (NKJV)

 7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

2 Corinthians 4:7 The Message (MSG)

 If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. As it is, there’s not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we’re not much to look at. 

Human Error

On my last several blogs, when I submitted them to be posted, right after I did, I noticed a few spelling errors. This meant all of my subscribers received the notification with the errors. It seems no matter how hard I try, a spelling or grammar error gets past me. I am a pretty good writer, but a not so good proof reader. And it seems to be more difficult since I am now posting mostly from my phone. It’s just a pet peeve of mine.

Well, for whatever the reason, this little issue makes me keenly aware of my own frailties, because I can’t seem to remedy it. Of course I have issues much bigger than this, but since this is such a small thing that I can’t seem to overcome it makes me feel so flawed. (silly, I know)

But the truth that we all know is, at best we are all flawed and we make mistakes constantly. It’s called being human. We hear it all the time with the big things and the small. Just watch the news and you will always hear “this matter is contributed to human error.”

Like I said earlier, I have much bigger issues than this, but, this one small thing just get’s to me. If you find yourself going through something similiar, big or small, just remember, we are human. Don’t be so hard on yourself because God said it best. We are just dust.

Psalm 103:13-14

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

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It’s not all pretty…

I was listening to a minister the other night and she shared how after 25 years of ministry, she lost her marriage, house, reputation and had to file bankruptcy. The church world turned their back on her and for two years she was in dispair.

During this season she was depressed and couldn’t get out of the bed. In a way to try to get deal with the pain she tatooed her body and drank. It was shocking I think to the audience, but I found her honestly refreshing. It was a little shocking that she told it, but I know this stuff happens because I come from a ministry family, so I know what goes on behind the scenes.

Often people look at the folks in the “limelight” and think things are different. Actually they often deal with 50 times more than average folks. This woman of God shared the real deal. But I appreciated her honestly. She was letting everyone know she was still human.  And God is still using her.

It’s not all pretty. There are real problems, real issues and I think we need real honesty.

 2 Corinthians 4:7:

   7But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

Only human

 2 Corinthians 4:7:

   7But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

I was chatting with someone that reads my blog and the person commented on how spiritual I was and I quickly told her “I am human”.

I grew up in the church and have a lot of knowledge of the Word, but just like everyone else I struggle to apply it.

I can be silly when talking to my friends.

I like to watch reality TV.

I go to the movies frequently.

Sometimes I don’t feel like praying or reading my Bible and I don’t.

I can even be irreverent at times.

My girlfriends and I talk about men. lol

I have a whole lot of issues that I won’t go into.

I’m only human.

So please don’t put me on a pedestal. You may be disappointed when I fall off. 🙂

Leaders Are Human Too

I was on the phone talking to a friend and she was kind of discouraged because she for the first time saw something in her Pastor that she did not know was there. I will not go into details, but really what happened is she found out that her Man of God is human. Her expectations of him have been dashed and she was dealing with many emotions because she is seeing the real earthen vessel.

Since I come from a family of Pastors and ministers, my perspective is different. I began to share with her that men and women of God are just that, men and women who are subject to err. They are no different then you and I. They have just answered the call. I was telling her that we will always have a problem when we fix our eyes on man.

Do we have a right to expect certain things from our leaders? Yes, we do. But we also need to expect that they will make mistakes just like the rest of us. You will always have a problem if you can’t accept that fact. Leaders are fallible. And when they hurt you, you can’t leave God and the church. If you do, it means your focus was in the wrong place and perhaps your relationship with God was not as strong as it should be.

2 Corinthians 4:7: AMP
7However, we possess this precious treasure [the divine Light of the Gospel] in [frail, human] vessels of earth, that the grandeur and exceeding greatness of the power may be shown to be from God and not from ourselves