The Kind Of Man I Desire

receprionist I started a new job in June and I am loving where I am working right now! We are a very productive office, but there is a lot of joy and laughter where I am working. The other thing that I am enjoying is meeting a lot of interesting men surrounding work. None of them are eligible, but they are all different and interesting. It just seems like God wants to me pay attention to the type of man I desire. I am learning what I do and do not want.

First let’s start with the man that lives in my building. I think I mentioned him in another blog. Let’s call him Joe. Well I didn’t realize it for a while, but I now see that Joe is really interested in me. I mentioned before that I was not interested, but recently I had to admit to my girlfriends that I am both attracted to him and flattered by his attention. Now, that does not mean I am interested in a relationship, it just means I think he is handsome.

Joe has done a few things that have completely turned me off. I think I mentioned this before, but one day I needed help with my groceries, but he refused to help. I realize he was looking for something in return. He couldn’t just be a gentlemen and help me with my groceries from the taxi to the elevator. Recently, Joe decided to do volunteer work at my job. Coincidence? I don’t think so. As soon as I told him where I was working he ended up volunteering there, the very next week after I told him. Then recently, we hadn’t seen each other for a while (I come in at 1:00 PM and he works in the morning) and the next time I saw him, he complimented me on my new hair style and lipstick and told me how much he had missed me. But even though I am flattered by handsome Joe’s attention, he still is not my cup of tea. One quality I want is a man who is naturally a gentlemen, meaning he doesn’t have to be told and doesn’t have to work at it. That is just who he is. Joe is not that.

So next there is someone else at work who we will call Kevin. He is a hard-working, handsome man who is very friendly, even flirty, but he flirts with a lot of woman. Recently, he introduced me to his “woman” who he explained to me was only his woman from 6:00 PM to 9:00 AM in the morning! Can you imagine a man saying that?? What’s crazy, is she is a beautiful young woman, but he is still not satisfied. So what do I see in Kevin that’s interesting? Well he really is a great conversationalist. I realize that I absolutely love to listen to an interesting man talk!

Now I know Kevin says crazy things on occasion. He told me a tall tale on Friday and I believed every word and then he told me it wasn’t true. lol But I still love having conversations with him. He took the time to explain to me how men think as opposed to women and it was interesting. Very insightful! I love that quality about Kevin. I wouldn’t do well with a man who cannot stimulate me with great conversation. But Kevin is a player or it’s least that is what he exhibits and I want a man who is faithful. I enjoy talking to Kevin, but I doubt he is faithful.

Finally there is Jimmy who was my job counselor. He was the man who was instrumental in me getting into the place where I am working now. I think I also mentioned him previously. He is married and I rarely see him now. Now physically, I am not as attracted to him as the other men. But honestly he is probably most like what I want spiritually. He talks about the Lord with ease and has a relationship with God. But it’s not just all spiritual. But he is most like me. Spiritual is who we are and so it’s easy to talk to someone like this. Both Joe and Kevin go to church, but they are different. But if Jimmy was single, I would definitely be able to settle down with this type of man.

The rest of the guys at the job are very young. Too young to consider, but they are still interesting. They are mostly looking for attention which I won’t give to them because I am old enough to be their mother. One of them wants to be called “Big Sexy” or Mr. XXX and the other one is always saying “it’s hard to stay sexy”. lol It’s really hilarious. But I ignore that because I just won’t go there.

So there it is. I am learning. I can’t wait to meet the man who I can connect with on all levels. Spiritually, a great conversationalist and good to look at. So what do I have to offer? I think I have a lot to offer. I am am intelligent, a great talker, highly organized and a good cook with old school values. I’ve been called “pretty” all of my life. But, sadly, I still feel I have not “arrived” yet. I need a little more time. But when he comes, I plan to be ready!!

The Potential of a Man

I was watching a Nightline program about why successful African American women do not marry. I saw the short version and it seems many of the woman are unyielding, not willing to see a man’s potential before he “arrives”.

One very successful man on the panel had asked one of the other panelist out years ago, before he was where he is now and she turned him down because he didn’t have a car. Amazingly it was a perfect illustration, thus proving the point in an undeniable way. They also spoke about our now President and how his wife Michelle married him when he had nothing.

This got me to thinking about how none of us are perfect and we must realize that we are all “works in progress”. Even the vilest sinner can be changed, so no one should be disqualified if we will just see them as God sees them. Everyone has the potential to be delivered and get better by the power of God.

Sometimes we must love people as they are and love them for who we know they will become.

Want proof? Read Acts 9 and see how God changed a murderer to the most prolific contributor to the New Testament and Christianity.

Diary of a Mad Black Woman


I was talking to one of my best friends on the phone today and I told her that for the first time I could understand how a person could be driven to a crime of passion. In other words I understood how one could want to shoot the person that they love or once loved.

There is a movie called Diary of a Mad Black Woman and in the movie this woman stayed with a man that did not value and love her. He cheated and had a family outside of his marriage and finally he reaped what he had sown and ended up temporarily paralyed in a wheelchair.  Well when he could not take care of himself, she does and she begins to take revenge. Well if you haven’t seen the movie, rent it. And you don’ t have to be African-American either. This movie has a universal message. Again, I can understand  how one could want to take revenge when ones heart has been trampled upon.

I realize though that our futile attempt at revenge will not gain us anything. If we put it in God’s hands it will work out for our good. And the very person that trampled upon our heart may end up abandoned and alone and, may one day come looking for us. And at that time, with God’s help, we should receive them graciously!

Church hats




I am currently living in Florida and the church that I attend right now is very different from the churches that I am accustomed to.

Recently I had the opportunity to visit a church that was affliated with a church that I would visit from time to time when I lived in New York.

What struck me as soon as I walked into the church was the “church hats”. The ladies had on very large and lovely hats.

I know it’s a cultural thing. In the church that I attend now the ladies are very casual, wearing slacks and sandals and you never see a hat. But in this African American church, the hats were all through out the congregation.

Hat have nothing to do with our salvation, but it was nice to connect with my culture again and admire all of the lovely “church hats”. (smile)