Love Series: Dear God My Husband is Cheating on Me

NocheatingDear God,

My husband is cheating on me. You said he was my husband and not only did you tell me, but you told him also. I pray that beginning now, you would hold him accountable to the Words that you have spoken.

I pray that whatever is missing and whatever is broken in him will be repaired. I pray that he would understand that you alone know what is best and a mistress is not your best no matter what it looks like. I pray that he would really come to know you and that he would learn to walk in obedience. I pray that starting now, you would teach him the lesson of all lessons about fidelity and sticking to what you have said concerning marriage.

Now break the soul-tie, the lust-tie between him and his mistress in the name of Jesus. I call for the Damascus Road conversion to come forth now. As Pastor Hines wife prayed that her husband would not commit adultery, while he was on his way to do so, I pray that you would stop my husband if that is his intent in Jesus’ name. Pastor Hines was literally struck by lightning and he was never the same.

I say whatever it takes, do it now, in the name of Jesus. Break the spirit of rebellion of his life in the name of Jesus. Thank you that this divine discipline begins NOW.

I pray that he will stop lying to his mistress and misleading her and letting her think they will be together when he knows that’s not so. He is wasting her time. I pray this thing in the mighty name of Jesus.

I will not revisit this anymore Lord. It’s in your hands. I am going on with my life. If you choose to bring reconciliation I am open to it, but I am going on with my life in Jesus name amen!  This door is shut and only you can reopen it. I’m DONE.

A Single Womans prayer concerning her future husband.

Matthew 5:27-28

New International Version (NIV)

Adultery

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Clean Pt. 2

broken chainsI wanted to share another part to this series and it’s about why people are having to wait so long to get married. Many people do not want to address these things, but it’s the reality of the world. that we live in today.

Ladies, sometimes we have to wait because we are not ready and sometimes he is not ready.  Just remember, while you are sitting around in impatience, God may be cleaning up your future husband for you. Our Heavenly Father is so concerned that He does not want to give you a man who is bound by sin!

The sad thing is that there are so many men, who are willing to get married with hidden bondage’s in their lives, not once considering how it going to affect the woman who they are considering marrying. They think just because they have a career, home, car and money in the bank, that qualifies them to be a good husband. That is not the case. The most important part of being a good husband is being a man of INTEGRITY.

Stop making excuses! Sir, you having to wait has NOTHING to do with her AT ALL. You don’t have the green light from God because you are in sexual bondage and you can either do the work to get free OR marry someone and destroy their life  and probably end up divorced!! No God is not waiting on her, God is waiting on YOU. Time to get free.

Here is how you know you are serious about getting free. You are serious when you confess to someone and commit to being held accountable. You are serious when you are willing to use an accountability soft-ware on your computer. You are serious when nothing is more important in your life than being FREE.

The time is NOW. Freedom awaits. No more excuses. If Dr. Doug Weiss can be free for 25 years and walk in sexual integrity, SO CAN YOU!

Matthew 5:27-28

New International Version (NIV)

Adultery

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

How Premarital Sex Rewires the Brain

Couple_01There’s a reason why breaking up from a sexual relationship is much more emotionally painful and much harder to forget than one that didn’t involve sex. There are several neurochemical processes that occur during sex, which are the “glue” to human bonding.

Sex is a powerful brain stimulant. When someone is involved sexually, it makes him or her want to repeat that act. Their brain produces lots of dopamine—a powerful chemical, which is compared to heroin on the brain. Dopamine is your internal pleasure/reward system. When dopamine is involved, it changes how we remember.

The other part is oxytocin, which is designed to mainly help us forget what is painful. Oxytocin is a hormone produced primarily in women’s bodies. When a woman has a child and she is breastfeeding, she produces lots of oxytocin, which bonds her to her child. For this reason, mothers will die for their child, because they’ve become emotionally bonded due to the oxytocin that is released when they’re skin-to-skin with their child.

The same phenomenon occurs when a woman is intimate with a man. Oxytocin is released, and this makes her bond to him emotionally. Have you wondered sometimes why a woman will stay with a man who’s abusing her? We know now that it’s because she bonded to him emotionally because of the oxytocin released during sex.

Men produce vasopressin, which is also referred to as the “monogamy hormone,” and it has the same effect as oxytocin has on a woman. It bonds a man to a woman.

These “bonding” agents narrow our selection to one person. That is wonderful in a marriage relationship but really bad in a dating relationship because you lose your objectivity when you’re searching for your potential lifemate.

Impaired Judgment

According to neuropsychologist Dr. Tim Jennings, “When you have premarital sex, your reward circuitry is bonded to them now, and it will be much deeper and hurtful. Oftentimes, in breakups of people who’ve been sexually active, they can’t tolerate the sense of emptiness, so they rush into another relationship. The neuro circuits did not have time to reset, and so they’re impaired in their ability to bond with the next person, and they may become sexually active with them. This is just a repetitive cycle, and there are real impairments in bonding going on.”

Becoming Bonded With Porn

These same neurochemicals are present when viewing pornography. A man will become bonded with whatever he is engaged in during the moment these chemicals are released. When your relationship is being carried on with an image, you become bonded to whatever you’re viewing.

Dr. Doug Weiss, a marriage counselor, advises men to have eye contact with their wives during sex because they become bonded with that person. By doing this, he explains that, over time, individuals will decrease the “neural pathway to pornography and sexually inappropriate thoughts and believes and glue to healthy sexuality to [their] wife. When your brain thinks sex, it thinks, ‘Where’s my wife?’ And that is a great way to fight this battle.”

Discovering how our minds were designed to operate by a magnificent Creator reveals truth in the way we are to live.

Cycle of Sexual Sin

For someone viewing porn, one of the functions of oxytocin is to separate the experience and the excitement from the intensity of the shame. According to neuropsychologist Dr. Jes Montgomery, “Usually by the time they turn the computer off, they are already sinking into a sense of failure and shame, and the function of oxytocin is to tell the brain, ‘Wait a minute. You don’t want to remember that. You want to hold on to this excitement and this amazing magic that you just experienced.’”

Knowing how these neurochemicals interact and change the brain help us understand why sex is meant to be kept within the boundaries of marriage. You see the overtones here about God’s design for His pure temple. This is another reason why the devil attacks our sexuality so much—because in attacking human sexuality, it actually interferes with human bonding.

So, for those practicing sex outside of marriage, they are creating a bond with their partner, thus inhibiting their discernment of whether they should remain in that relationship. God wired and designed our brains for a specific purpose: to bond ourselves with the person we marry.

Jennings, Weiss and Montgomery are just several of the many experts featured in the Conquer series 6-disk DVD set who provide amazing insight that help set men free from sexual sin, while providing practical steps to live in purity.


Jeremy Wiles is the executive producer and director of the Conquer series. For the original article, please visit conquerseries.com.

Love Series: More Than A Notion

broken coupleThis evening someone contacted me and opened up about the state of their marriage. Infidelity, porn addiction, neglect and my heart just broke. I remember this couple so well when they first married. I know when they married, the wife never expected to pass through any of this and I am sitting here thinking that marriage is more than a notion.

The state of the marriage is so bad that separation looks like it’s on the horizon. But I’m glad the wife contacted me because I feel I should join forces with her in prayer and fight for deliverance.

It’s so important that a person not get married if they have addictions. I don’t know what it is about men, but they never want to reach out and get help. Deliverance often calls for outside help, but that is not for me to figure out.

My heart is broken because of the possibility of this marriage ending and yet another family being broken up and a father not present in the family, BUT GOD! We will fight through prayer and fasting! Please say a prayer for this family that God would heal and deliver.

Mark 10:9

New International Version (NIV)

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Sexual Sin Pt. 1

sinI was just reading a thread on a board that is supposed to be Christian and was amazed at the views on celibacy. Someone was saying they decided to be celibate for a season to clear their head to hear from God??? I’m confused!!

That is the problem with the church today. There really is no such thing as holiness and let me just say right here that I understand the struggle with sexuality. That is why people should get married. It’s God’s only LEGAL way to have sex. But in the world today, even “Christians” don’t believe that fornication is a sin. And some know it is, but they feel there is no way they can live in  holiness, so they don’t.

I think marriage is definitely the problem solver, but it’s a catch 22. If a man or woman are bound by fornication and they get married, will they remain faithful after marriage? Many times the unfaithfulness to God before marriage, seeps over into the marriage. I’ve seen it so many times.

Here is what the Bible says about sexual sin. (The Bible is the Christians instruction manual. GOD’S word, given to men inspired by HIm.

1 Corinthians 6:18

New Living Translation (NLT)

18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

New Living Translation (NLT)

God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body[a] and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.

Matthew 5:28

New Living Translation (NLT)

28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Ephesians 5:5

New Living Translation (NLT)

You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.

1 Corinthians 7:2

New Living Translation (NLT)

But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

I’m going to continue this in the next post. But there is no way you are serving God and right with Him, JUSTIFYING sexual sin. I didn’t say STRUGGLING, but I said doing it with no thought that you are doing wrong.

When God starts addressing things in your life, it means he is coming for it. Get your house in order, because God is going to deal with it. No one is exempt from living Holy if you call yourself a Christian.

 

The Scarlet Letter

Today, I had a major breakthrough, in that God, reconfirmed to me that I am doing exactly what he wants me to be doing for this season. For a moment, I was distracted, but some quick reminders set me back on course. So now, let me move on to the matters at hand.

During the week my internet was off God was able to speak to me, without any distractions. During that time, the Lord began to speak to me about the reproach of adultery and how terrible it is for a person who professes Christianity to commit adultery. Yes, I know, interesting topic of discussion, but I know that God will have the right person read this at the right time.

There was a book called the Scarlet letter, based during Victorian Times and the book (I did not read it) was about a woman who had to wear a letter A in red, to signify her adultery. Thus the title of the blog post.

This past week while I was in a season of quiet, I heard the Lord tell me that someone is going to have to live under the reproach and wear a spiritual “scarlet letter” for a season. They are going to have to live under the shame of their adulterous relationship being exposed. And then this morning, someone shared a dream that confirmed that very thing. Though the consequences were avoided before, that won’t be the case this time.

Sometimes people do things wrong and they blame it on “narcissistic behavior” or childhood abuse. But there is only one problem with that. You may have these issues, but once you have become a Christian, you have all the tools you need to be delivered.

Some people do have issues where they don’t understand boundaries and nothing stops them from doing anything and that is why God is going to allow the exposure. It’s like a child who get’s burned by fire. After that happens they never view fire the same.

This is for someone today! God spared you the shame this last time, but since you went back, you’ll not be spared this time. Exposure WILL be your consequence.

I remember this happening to a family member and his wife got revenge. She told all of his friends and ministry associates and this family member had to live under that reproach for a long while.

Think it can’t happen? As I was writing this, I saw an article about a husband who taped his wife for many months. Now they are in a divorce battle and many of her private moments may play out in a court of law. In this day and age of camera’s everywhere, exposure is not out of the realm of possibility. I will continue with this tomorrow.

Exodus 20:14

New International Version (NIV)

14 “You shall not commit adultery.

Leviticus 18:20

New International Version (NIV)

20 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor’s wife and defile yourself with her.

Matthew 5:27-28

New International Version (NIV)

Adultery

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.