Whenever I hear about someone ending their own life, I get a sick queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. When a person ends their life, its sad because they did not have to die, but they decided to die.
I understand that people get depressed and I had a friend explain to me that the despair is something that overtakes you and it hard to come back from. I have been depressed, but never that depressed. I have thought I wanted to die, but I’ve never attempted to end my own life. But I am not here to debate or discuss depression. I know it’s a real thing.
The real hurt of suicide is that I know that there was an answer for that person, but they just didn’t know it, or didn’t believe it or receive it, or didn’t want it. The answer is a personal relationship with Jesus. No that is not a pat answer, but a beginning. I knew a young woman who backslid and took her life, so this is not a simple answer.
This past week celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain, ended his own life and the world was shocked. I am familiar with him, because he was occasionally on a cooking competition show that I watch called Top Chef. Of course everyone was shocked because this man was rich, famous and seemed to have everything that most people strive for. But it’s real simple. None of that is the answer to life.
This is not going to be a long post. Just a plea. If you are someone that feels like they want to end their life, I want you to know GOD is your answer!
Ask God to help you and pray these two prayers:
The Sinner’s Prayer (by Dr. Ray Pritchard)
Lord Jesus, for too long I’ve kept you out of my life. I know that I am a sinner and that I cannot save myself. No longer will I close the door when I hear you knocking. By faith I gratefully receive your gift of salvation. I am ready to trust you as my Lord and Savior. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for coming to earth. I believe you are the Son of God who died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead on the third day. Thank you for bearing my sins and giving me the gift of eternal life. I believe your words are true. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus, and be my Savior. Amen
The darkness has taken hold me and I can’t find my way back to the light. In this moment, ending it all seems like the best option, the only option, the only way to escape. Yet, there is something in me that wants your light to snuff out the darkness. So I ask, Lord, that you would do just that. You are the only light that can shine in the darkness.
I know when I’m consumed with thoughts of death I’m believing lies from the enemy. I ask Lord that you would remind me of these truths: when I feel alone, you are with me; when I feel invisible, you see me; when I feel worthless, my value is knowing you and being known by you.
Lord, help me to understand that you are enough, because you are everything I need and more.
Remind me that when I feel hopeless, you have hope in me and for me. Remind me that when I don’t have the words to cry out to you, your son Jesus is praying for me, and your Spirit intercedes for me with groanings too deep for words. Let this remind me that I am seen, heard and deeply loved.
I often feel out of place in this world. I don’t fit in and I’m not sure I want to. Remind me that this world is not my home and while, as your child, I will never fit in here, my time here isn’t over. Not yet. Please, give me the desire to live.
When I feel like I don’t matter, remind me that I was created with purpose. When I don’t know or understand why I feel the way I feel – remind me that you know the depth of pain in my heart, in my body and in my being. You know me better than I know myself… and yet you still love me.
When I feel like my death would go unnoticed because my life seems to go by uncelebrated,
remind me that you celebrate me and that you hurt for me when I’m in this dark place.
Remind me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I am worth more than I know.
Remind me that this life is not mine to take.
Remind me that suicide is not the only option.
Remind me to love you and to love myself.
As I say these words I know in my heart that you love me and I feel incredible guilt for wanting to take the life you gave me. I feel embarrassed to admit these thoughts to you. I feel overwhelmed that you know these thoughts without my even saying them, and yet you still love me.
Remind me that Jesus did not come to earth and die for me so that I could live a defeated life. Help me to desire life and to live fully in you.
In Jesus precious name, Amen.