Sleep eludes me. I’m tormented in the sense of being “pregnant” by the Holy Ghost, but human and tired of rejection and pain. I mean, in my flesh I could let this go. But the spirit of God says NOT SO! Glory! So I am racking my brain asking God why? God says: It’s the price! Okay, I get that. But what if two people really want to be together? I’m okay with it Lord. I can accept it. I’m am REALLY OKAY WITH IT LORD!! LOL God said: I ordained the relationship, just not a marriage! WOW! I heard that before. God said: all of this is shaping him into the man for YOU! Can you receive it? Can you accept it? But God, he don’t like me! God: Oh he will, oh HE WILL! Alright Lord! OH THE COST!