Love Series: Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing

aint-nothingI was about to compromise my core values, when I heard God say “stand your ground”. So how was I going to compromise? I was thinking about relationship and getting to know someone and I was thinking that the only way that can happen is if the two people really show up. In other words, they need to share themselves and not send their representative. lol

Imagine wanting to get to know someone and they send their 20-year-old son, or the man sends his 60 year mother? Imagine, a man wanting to get to know a woman and she sends her 25-year-old nephew? Well, if those two people do that, they will never get to know each other. The only way they will get to know each other is if they show up as themselves.

I for one, do not want to fall in love with a character. Do you know that can happen? If the real person does not show up, or if one or both of the people are being phony, then what you have is two people who have fallen for the facade of who they think that other person is. Then they wake up together in a nightmare.

Real communication is about using your own voice and your own words. Tell me what you really feel because “ain’t NOTHING, LIKE THE REAL THING.

Love Series: Bringing Closure

the end 2Before beginning a new relationship, there must be an ending. Nobody, man or woman, wants to go into a relationship with somebody who has not shut the door to the past. You can not fully explore the new with a clear heart and mind, until you have said goodbye to the old.

So what is closure? defines closure as: the act of closing; the state of being closed; bringing to an end; conclusion. So closure is the acting of bringing something to an end.

Seems like a common sense thing to do right? But many people never end their past relationships. They simply move on. They never give the other person closure. This is unfair because the other person does not understand the truth of where the relationship really is and it keeps them from moving on.

A lot of people never “end” things because they are weak and afraid. Perhaps they are afraid of the reaction of the other party. Then some people never communicate an ending because they want to leave a door open to return. But neither is the mature thing to do.

Clear communication is a big thing with me. So if you are dealing with an ex, if questioned, they should be able to tell you the date and time that your relationship ended and the reason. That is key as well. It’s not “this relationship is over just because”. It should be this relationship is over because I am not ready to commit, or I have met someone else, or God showed me you’re not the one; whatever it is, it should be communicated.

Now, I am not saying this is easy. I once had to end a 15 year friendship and I really didn’t know why other than God said to end it. There is nothing more difficult to communicate than not having a reason other than “God said”. She and I got along well, We had a lot in common, but the truth is there were probably things that I didn’t know, that God knew. I got the sense that there was a lot going on that I was blind to. It was painful, difficult and hard, but I obeyed God. So how do I feel about it today? I no longer miss that friendship because I know God said let it go. And yes, I was clear when I communicated the ending to her.

For someone, God has something new, but there is no way you can get it, see it or enjoy it UNTIL you say goodbye to the past. Leave it behind you!

Isaiah 43:18-19

Living Bible (TLB)

18 But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I’m going to do! 19 For I’m going to do a brand-new thing. See, I have already begun! Don’t you see it? I will make a road through the wilderness of the world for my people to go home, and create rivers for them in the desert!