A Message in the Morning

Good Morning! It doesn’t take long for God to answer prayer!! I prayed so much last night, I almost had a headache! So as you can see in my last post, I wanted to bow out from this journey I’ve been on because it’s getting heavier. I was praying that God would remove this because I just can’t take this anymore.

Well, this morning I woke up through the night coughing and barely able to breathe because I am allergic to the cats that I am currently living with. It’s been a difficult journey these last few weeks. I’ve since learned you can develop asthma when staying in a situation like this. Please pray for me because I can’t live here anymore and right now, I have no place to go.

So by about 5:55 I heard the Lord tell me to turn on the Steve Harvey morning show and so I obeyed and there was my answer. Steve gives a 12 minute inspirational message at the beginning of his show and this morning he talked about praying  to endure, NOT that God would make it easier. There was much more, but that kind of capsulizes it. God was telling me to pray for the grace to endure! I was not shocked, because when God tells me to listen to something I know he is about to speak.

So disregard what I wrote earlier this morning. My pray is for grace and strength to endure whatever is ahead! Jesus help! I’m in Gethsemane!

Luke 22:42

King James Version (KJV)

42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.

Today Was Bad and God

We’ve all had them. One of those crazy days. Yesterday was a challenging day, but at the end of the day, I determined in my heart to fast and pray my way through something until I get to the end. Right now I feel determined to get to the end of this because I’ve had enough.

Now there are levels of “had enough”. lol, but I am at that level where I want to see some sort of breakthrough or I am moving on. On thing I know, it’s not God’s will for me to suffer like this. It just isn’t. Here are some random thoughts:

How can a man say he wants your heart, while he is saying he is in love with someone else? How can a man say he wants your heart when he has done absolutely nothing to win it. Of course I know it’s not true, but I guess my down fall is I always want to know what the motive is behind people saying the things they do.

I am at the place of acceptance. What was shown to me may not happen at all and I will have to live with that. It’s happened before, so I will survive. But I am no longer willing to “watch” from the sidelines. I’m just not going to do that anymore. I am also asking God to send someone into my life as well. It’s times to have companionship and I am looking forward to having a relationship with someone who wants to be with me.

NOW, the challenge is to walk this out and not backtrack. Fasting is the key. I was reading a fellow bloggers post and I know for certain that my breaking days are over. No way I am going through anything more with this vision after 10 years. It’s enough already!

Today started out bad, but it’s been good too. I am going to begin to pray that God release me from this vision. The choice has been made. It’s time for a release!