Love Series: When You Have it Your Way

I was watching a clip from Oprah’s Master Class, featuring Actress Diahann Carroll and it was so interesting to hear her assessment as to why she’d been married four times. It got me to thinking that in the area of matters of the heart, we have a choice. But there is a price to pay when you have it your way.

Diahann Carroll, who is now in her seventies, said something that I believe. When it comes to love, if you are looking for someone who will make you happy, and complete you, you are in for a great disappointment. I believe in love, it’s just that I don’t idolize it. Everyone I know, who was madly in love at one time, has had an occasion where they wanted to “kill” that very same person or wanted out of the marriage.  So for me, I am not looking for a man who is the answer to all my problems, hopes and fears. I am looking for God’s best for me even if I can’t see it.

But the name of this post is “When you have it you way”, and the reason I wanted to write this post is because sometimes people need to acknowledge that they are difficult. For whatever reason, you are difficult to love, difficult to please and you hold folks to impossible standards, all in the name of “love”. Well guess what? It could be that YOU are the problem and not everyone else.

This is for the person who is making that “thing called love” all about THEM. Love is a two-way street and I want to ask you, if you are looking for that perfect person to come along and jump through hoops for you, in the words of an old Janet Jackson song, I want to ask you “What Have You Done For Me (them) lately. Think about it. Take a listen:

Diahann Carroll

1 Corinthians 13:4-5

New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love Series: Expectations

I was reading a post I wrote previously about expectations and thought I needed to write about it again, but this time concerning relationships. It started me to thinking about how for years, I contemplated moving because I felt that someone was encouraging me to do so, and this was about the hope of a possibility of being in a relationship. lol I finally admitted that was what my move was about, here on this blog.

When I reread my post about expectation, I realized that not only did I have expectations that were not met, but someone else did too and then I had to chuckle because we are truly at an impasse. I have thought about it long and hard and yes we all have expectations.

I was thinking about how I wrestled with moving for YEARS and every time I seriously thought about doing it, something would creep up that was a huge red flag. Since then, that red flag situation grew to the point where I realize had I moved, it would have been the biggest mistake ever.  All I can say it THANK GOD for the stop signs.

The truth of the matter is it was NEVER in God’s plan for me to move without an equal commitment. You see, this has not been the first time someone has moved for this very same reason and it ended in disaster. I remember receiving subtle “encouragements” from someone about moving and fasting a praying and God spoke loud and clear. God said ” You are the one, this is the place and now is the time” and then the minister said “you don’t have to go to that city either and he named the EXACT city I was considering moving to. I knew then God was going to do this in a different way.

I pretty much know what God is saying so when I had to move out my house I never seriously considered moving to that city because again God said “this is the place all of your prophecies are going to come to pass”. My only regret is that I kept telling someone and all of you that I was moving when that was not how God is going to do this. But live and learn.

When God does all that He promised, it’s going to be HIM ALONE who did it. It won’t be a work of someones fleshly desire, or any form of manipulations. Honestly, with this impasse, ONLY GOD can do it now!

So I am not the only one with expectations that are NOT going to be met. But that is okay. As long as God’s expectations and Will is done, I’m okay with it!

Isaiah 55:8-9

King James Version (KJV)

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Warnings About People Pt. 1

Yesterday, I was leaving the library and ran into a member of the church I was attending for a while, a few years back. I believe I  shared on here that a family friend (Pastor) had returned to the area and resumed ministry at his church and also started a home church in my area. For a while we had a very nice group and met at the house of the Pastors sister. Then things seemed to go south because the sister of the Pastor started problems with EVERYONE in the congregation, even her brother the Pastor.

So yesterday, the young lady who I ran into, told me all that was being said behind my back by the Pastors sister and it made me so hot, but also helped me understand why God gave me a warning dream about this woman.  She is an older woman and alone and I’m not sure why she is the way that she is, but something  was definitely wrong. So after her brother confronted her about everyone in the church who she offended, the congregation pretty much fizzled out.

I remember so well, that I had a dream that this woman was parked in front of the house where I used to live and I could see her car and her standing there, but right beside her, I saw a rat and a snake in the road. At that time I did have a relationship with her, and you know how it is when God warns us about the character of people. We sometimes don’t want to let go.

Well long story short, the young lady  told me that this woman told everyone that I never offered her money when I rode in her car. After the home study was disbanded, we would car pool to the larger church and we all contributed toward gas. I have to tell you it’s shocking to me when people lie, but it’s more shocking to hear them lie ON YOU. Well I can attest to the fact that on at least ten occasions I offered the woman gas money and she TURNED ME DOWN. I kept offering (because I know how people are). Finally after several times of offering I stopped. I am guess that is when she started saying I didn’t offer. But guess what? My mother didn’t raise a fool. Even AFTER she turned me down, guess what I gave her for Christmas??. I gave her a 50.00 gas card!!! Now it all makes sense. I gave it to her in front of her daughter and she acted strangely and tried to act as though she didn’t know what it was even after I told her it was a gas card. I tell you people are something!!

Hearing what was being said behind my back reminded me of the warning dream that I had about her. God was showing me the character of this woman. Shortly after the dream, the relationship ended and I am glad it did.

We can think we know better than God, but He will show us that we don’t. Here is what I want to share with those who may be dealing with letting go: when God says to let people go, DO IT! I wish I had done it right when I had the dream, but I learned for next time. Some people are dangerous and when folks begin to lie on you, that is the time to LET GO!

1 Peter 5:8

New International Version (NIV)

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

A Compromise?

Honestly, I had my reasons for wanting to close this blog down.  There was something that was going on, that was hurting me, but I guess God doesn’t see it that way. Really Lord?

Never would I have thought that God would tell me that what I did was a compromise, but it looks that way. If I told you the circumstance behind it all, I bet you would agree with me. lol But I won’t tell.

This blog is ministry and someone is dependent on it more than I know, so I guess I’ve got to keep on posting.

Whatever God is requiring you to do, don’t give up and don’t let it go. It may be more important than you realize.  So I guess I am back.

My desire has been to expand this blog and do so much more, and perhaps this is that time.

SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS:

The enemy is doing a work against you to cause you to lose hope and become complacent.  But, I tell you that your hope is in Me, and I will do all that I have promised.  Do not despair, but stand strong in your faith for victory.  I will give you the strength to overcome all adversity, says the Lord.  Be strong and resolute.  Psalms 46:1  God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

A Bleak Future for Intimacy*

This is so timely and fit in with why I am leaving this blog alone for a while.

Inner Angels & Enemies

It is common to hear diatribes of drama and dysfunction from people sharing about their relationships and social interactions. Yes, relationships are tricky, however as experience is gained, overtime, social guidelines help us avoid so much of the non-sense drama of our youth.  In this past week alone, I have listened to too many examples of social immaturity and hypocrisy. We are not in high school anymore, so why does it often sound like we are?

Judgment without Grace,

Offense without Accountability,

Deception without Discernment,

Walls without Boundaries,

Conflict without Resolution,

Anger without Acceptance,

Passion without Humility,

Condemnation without Self-Reflection,

Battle without Courage.

Our ability to relate and connect is a fundamental element of being human, and yet our ability to achieve maturity in this area seems to becoming less and less apparent.

I am extremely concerned for the social development of our generation and the next, now that relationships…

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Just One More Post

I’m pretty sure this may be one of the last few posts that I share for the summer. You see, I am being judged in the most unfair way. I’m being judged online. It’s the saddest thing I have ever experienced.

There is no way you can really get to know someone online. I know many people meet online. It’s really not that uncommon. I interact with a lot of people online through this blog and other places as well, who I have never met. But if you are really going to get to know that person and forge a real relationship, it has to leave cyberspace.

A while back the Lord told met to let something go because it was no longer serving a purpose and I responded and let something go. But I am about 95% sure that the other part of what God is saying is to let this blog go as well.  This form of communication is hindering things instead of helping, so for that reason I am going on hiatus for the summer.

I have to shut this door, so a door will open in real life. I did this same thing back in 2006. God told me to leave some things alone for a while and a door was created for me and so here we are again 7 years later.

I also know this stuff is becoming a distraction. God is about to move me to the next level and I need to get prepared, spiritually, emotionally and physically and I don’t need any distractions.

This is for anyone who is stuck online. Until you really get up close and personal there is NO WAY, you can know the real deal and until you decide to take that step, you won’t have what or who GOD wants you to have…

I may post one more time. But not only am I not going to post, but this blog will be made private! God bless you all! I’ve really enjoyed all of the comments!