Forgive me for sharing the same stories over and over (if you have heard this one before). But I shared on here that several years back, I had an encounter with a drop-dead gorgeous curly-haired Pastor and we had what could only be described as an INSTANT MAGNETIC attraction. Yes, haven’t experienced anything like it until recently. ;-). This was nothing online. It was up close and personal and in the flesh.
I shared on here that I BEGGED God for this man. I started attending his church, which was no easy feat because it was in another state, (yes, I travelled every Sunday, lol). He made such a big fuss over me in front of his congregation that the church (the women that wanted him) hated me! lol I only had one friend. I can tell you story after story, but one story stands out in my mind with him preaching this message called “Esther, is in the House”. Well mid-sermon after he said “I want you all to know, Esther is in the house”, he stopped and looked right at me as if to single me out as Esther and stared for what seemed like an eternity. I wanted to slide under the pew!!!!! Then there was the time he wanted to pay for my cab and stopped MID- SERMON to give me the money, with the entire church looking. It was crazy.
But with all of that and his bold proclamations that I was his Esther, I was not. God spoke to me in a dream audibly and said DIVORCE, letting me know he was not the one. And a prophet gave me a word letting me know I needed to stop mourning and let it go. It took about a year, even after I stopped attending the church. I almost moved to his state.
Well I said that to say, that God had a purpose for that. For me it built my self-esteem and left me with good memories of how a gorgeous man wanted me and that was the purpose. It was not for he and I to marry. This I know for sure. At the time I was sure he was my Boaz, but he WAS NOT.
I am thinking about this woman I know of who thinks this man if for her. She shared many dreams with me, but some of the dreams she shared were obviously God letting her know what she was believing for was not going to end the way she thought. Oh, right now she is in denial, but deep down she knows. She even told me she knows she will never meet this man of her dreams. I remember she shared a dream of being back in home, unmarried after all of this stuff had taken place. She seemed baffled by the dream, but I knew what it meant.
God has a purpose for it all. Don’t make it into what it’s not supposed to be. Sometimes a person is just supposed to affect our life in a certain way and THAT IS IT. They are temporary. They are NOT a root, no matter how sweet we think they are.
I can look back now with fond memories (after I forgave him, lol, but that is another story). I remember the time when a very special man singled me out and it a good memory, but I thank GOD we did not marry. It just wasn’t meant be!
New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
37 Who can command and have it done,
if the Lord has not ordained it?