Hold On, You’re Not Done Yet!

15263659-wait-a-minuteI had an unexpected vacation, last week and I am off today, so I decided to do some yard work and while I was raking, I was praying,just asking God to let me do what I want to do for a change.lol Have you ever been there? Well if you are surrendered, you know what I mean. I’m a prisoner for Christ.

So the Lord heard my prayer (he always does) and answered in a funny way. I was getting ready to put some envelopes in the recycle bin and I picked up an envelope sent by my former Pastor and on the outside of the envelope it said “Hold on, you’re not done yet! All I could do was laugh!!! God has a sense of humor! He knew I would “get it” and He knew the answer would make me chuckle.

I’m not going to say all I heard, but I will say I know I’m not done yet. lol

John 2:4-5

King James Version (KJV)

Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.

His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.

I’m About to Look Away, For Good

eyes_closedLast year God warned me that something was about to happen and someone was about to steal what rightfully belonged to me and instructed me to fast and pray and thank God I obeyed. If I didn’t things would be very different right now. But I am still dealing with the residue of this situation. (in my mind it’s residue).

Some time after the fast, I had a dream that I saw this baby get killed. I knew the dream was about this situation. But I looked away in the dream and missed the demise of the “baby”. I did that last year. I stopped looking for a long time because I could not stomach the situation.

But this year I decided I was going to observe the situation and God told me to stay out of the midst and steer clear and I have done that. I vent on this blog. But now I am getting that desire to look away.

I feel like if a woman can curse you out publicly and you still want to be with her, then that is where I get off this ride. It must really be love.

Everything in me wants to get off this ride. People don’t understand when you make statements like this. They think, well “get off then”. I am going to try my best. I’m sick of watching a cyber-relationship play out publicly. I don’t know what to say or think at this point, but I’M OUT!

This is where I get off and do something different. I absolutely positively MEAN IT. This thing is officially DEAD!

I think starting today, I’m going to turn away and with each day, I know it will get better. If there is anything God wants me to know, He will tell me. But my eyes are officially closed!


The Facade

maskI guess I will say what I want to say. This is my blog, so if anyone doesn’t want to read what I have to say, I would suggest that you stop reading NOW. lol (disclaimer) 🙂

So I watched this explosive display of anger break out last night online between these two “star-crossed” lovers and honestly, it didn’t surprise me. But that is not what this blog is about believe it or not.

You see I was acquainted with one of the people in the argument and what was shocking to me more than the argument, was their portrayal of the last 5 years. Now even though I was not physically in the persons life, I have known them the entire five years because they reached out to me daily and so I got to know this person pretty well. So what I read was really kind of shocking because it was so far from the truth.

I get it though. If someone idolizes you and makes you think you are the end all and be all, then you try to live up to their expectation. There is only one problem. If it’s a facade, the truth will eventually come to the surface.

I remember a dream that was shared  with me about this situation and in the dream there was a reversal in this relationship. In the dream the couple was about to move forward in their relationship, when suddenly someone let that person know they did not have the anointing to be with that person. It’s amazing when you see what God says begin to manifest.

I was amazed when I saw the person asking why this relationship happened and it made me think of what God told me. God said, the situation was of the Lord, but would not end in marriage.

I can tell you this. It’s not over. God already told me I am going to need an extraordinary amount of patience. Not sure, but I think that has to do with how long this is going to take to end. (the dog that won’t die)  But all things must run their course and God wants to get behind the facade. You can only fake it for so long.

One day I was chatting with this same acquaintance online and she was truly almost suicidal and defeated and negative and it really was a drain, but I tried my best to encourage her. But honestly, when she got offline with me, I was so upset and concerned I kept trying to reach her, until I saw her post on Facebook.  The post was happy go lucky as though nothing happened. When I asked her about it, she said “oh I was “just being phony”. To be honest, I’m not sure if she meant with me, or on Facebook. lol It was all a facade.

Well, I’ve said enough. I keep asking God for permission to move in another direction, honestly. I don’t think I should have to wait around for something to be over.Just like they have a relationship, I want my own. And this is not the mindset of the world. I’m not from the streets. I’m just a church girl who is tired of sitting on the sidelines “waiting” for something else to get through. If opportunity comes, I will take that as a yes from God.

Psalm 51:6

King James Version (KJV)

Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

A Foundation of Truth

seek_truth_by_beautifullyevilI have a lot to say, but I need to gauge what I should say today. I will try to be led of God.

When God gives you instructions, you’d better listen. Recently the Lord told me to steer clear of something and boy am I glad I did!!!!

Meanwhile I have a life here in Florida that is shifting.  I’ve left my church and I’m not looking back. God really is in the change. No regrets. What I saw happening at the church made me sick on my stomach and I don’t want to be a part of.

Now this job..not sure what this week is going to hold. A whole weeks income was taken at the last-minute. I need to know what to do at this point because I can’t live like this. This is my focus. God also told me to fast and pray and watch and observe and I will continue to do that. God is moving! !

But I do want to address the title of this blog. I was thinking about how important it is to have a foundation based on truth and not lies. If you are lying about something, or who you really are, it will all begin to crumble because you won’t be able to keep up the  facade. Relationships based on lies, never last.

You can be a phony only for so long and then eventually who you really are will bubble up to the surface. This is easy to do, especially online. When I post on this blog, you are only seeing what I want to show you. Sometimes I say stuff to my best friend that I don’t want anyone to hear, and I dare not say half of what I feel on this blog. But at the foundation of it all is truth. I don’t post lies. Never have and never will. As Judge Judy says “when you tell the truth, you don’t need a good memory”.

I love truth. Always have and always will. I don’t paint a glamorous picture of who I am. I am spiritual, I can get carnal at times and I get angry (matters of the heart). It’s called being HUMAN. But I don’t have to keep of the facade and pretend to be who I am not. If you think I am super-spiritual all the time, you will be sorely disappointed.

Let’s seek truth. Not lies. And don’t present a lie either.

John 8:32

New International Version (NIV)

32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

I’ve Gotta Feeling Everything is Gonna Be Alright

sunriseIf you don’t know it, that’s a song. God just wants you to know, no matter how dark the storm clouds grow, everything is going to be alright.

For someone this time is going to bring about a wonderful breakthrough in your life. Wait and see. I am so looking forward to mine. I’ve had very dark days, but God is going to bring us out! Be encouraged!

Jeremiah 29:11

Amplified Bible (AMP)

11 For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare andpeace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.