I guess I will say what I want to say. This is my blog, so if anyone doesn’t want to read what I have to say, I would suggest that you stop reading NOW. lol (disclaimer) 🙂
So I watched this explosive display of anger break out last night online between these two “star-crossed” lovers and honestly, it didn’t surprise me. But that is not what this blog is about believe it or not.
You see I was acquainted with one of the people in the argument and what was shocking to me more than the argument, was their portrayal of the last 5 years. Now even though I was not physically in the persons life, I have known them the entire five years because they reached out to me daily and so I got to know this person pretty well. So what I read was really kind of shocking because it was so far from the truth.
I get it though. If someone idolizes you and makes you think you are the end all and be all, then you try to live up to their expectation. There is only one problem. If it’s a facade, the truth will eventually come to the surface.
I remember a dream that was shared with me about this situation and in the dream there was a reversal in this relationship. In the dream the couple was about to move forward in their relationship, when suddenly someone let that person know they did not have the anointing to be with that person. It’s amazing when you see what God says begin to manifest.
I was amazed when I saw the person asking why this relationship happened and it made me think of what God told me. God said, the situation was of the Lord, but would not end in marriage.
I can tell you this. It’s not over. God already told me I am going to need an extraordinary amount of patience. Not sure, but I think that has to do with how long this is going to take to end. (the dog that won’t die) But all things must run their course and God wants to get behind the facade. You can only fake it for so long.
One day I was chatting with this same acquaintance online and she was truly almost suicidal and defeated and negative and it really was a drain, but I tried my best to encourage her. But honestly, when she got offline with me, I was so upset and concerned I kept trying to reach her, until I saw her post on Facebook. The post was happy go lucky as though nothing happened. When I asked her about it, she said “oh I was “just being phony”. To be honest, I’m not sure if she meant with me, or on Facebook. lol It was all a facade.
Well, I’ve said enough. I keep asking God for permission to move in another direction, honestly. I don’t think I should have to wait around for something to be over.Just like they have a relationship, I want my own. And this is not the mindset of the world. I’m not from the streets. I’m just a church girl who is tired of sitting on the sidelines “waiting” for something else to get through. If opportunity comes, I will take that as a yes from God.
King James Version (KJV)
6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.