The Difficulty of Letting Go

For the past few weeks I have been feeling miserable. I couldn’t put my finger on it and I actually was just trying to live with how I was feeling. But yesterday I believe the Lord finally identified what it is. I’ve been caring for this sweet little toddler and honestly childcare has terrible pay. Unless you are a nanny working for upscale clients, you can’t make good money unless you have a lot of children. But even then it doesn’t pay well.

Well after weeks of prayer it occurred to me that I need to make a change. This job, like my tenant was temporary provision, but it was never meant to be long-term. I know this season is just about up. I just didn’t want to let go.

Letting-GoYou see I wanted to stick with it. I guess I want to be like everyone else. But my walk is a prophetic one and one of the prophetic words given me is that I would be doing flexible, unorthodox work that afforded me freedom, and that is how my work life has always been.

The other reason it’s been hard for me to let go of this baby is because I’ve grown attached to the unconditional love of this little boy and he is comfortable with me. You can have a soul-tie to anyone, Man, woman, child, pet. When bonds are created, it’s hard to let go of them. Right now he is feeding himself some yogurt and asking me if I want to taste some, in baby talk. lol So precious.

But no matter how much someone pulls on our heart strings, if God say to shift or let go, then you have to let go. I’m looking at him now and missing him already.

God is about to break a soul-tie. In my case, it’s one that I have been praying for God to break. This time it’s going to be permanent. Just watch and see. It’s starting already. I just got some information that let me know things are going just like God planned it. Same situation is about to take place, with a different person. This one may be uglier than the last one. Wow!


 I speak to those who have yielded to the fear of deprivation.  Do not allow your fear to override faith in My provision.  Put your trust in Me to bless you and to meet your needs.  You belong to Me.  Am I not able to do what is necessary to get you through a time of leanness?  I AM, says the Lord.

Psalm 24:1-5  The earth is the LORD’S, and all its fullness, the world and those who dwell therein.  For He has founded it upon the seas, and established it upon the waters. Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD? Or who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul to an idol, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.

There is Something I Don’t Know Pt.2

I am not idolizing my vision. Been there, done that, and I have a tee-shirt. God only knows how many times I have wanted to give this up. Only He and I know the truth. Reading my blog does not tell the truth of what I have gone through in the midnight hour. But I am going to ask Him to show me what I don’t know.

The Spirit of Prophecy bulletin in the other post hit me right where I live. I want to be free from what I see and hear and there is obviously something hidden that I don’t know about.

I have a theory and that something has been revealed and that other person is trying to “ease his hand our of the Lions mouth” as my friend often says. Of course you can’t withdraw from something instantly even if you know it’s not going anywhere. Only God knows what is really in that persons heart. But you also cannot continue to lead someone on either and lie to them. It only makes it worse.

I just need that “something I don’t know” to be revealed  that will take the “stress out of this”. I will keep you posted!

Jeremiah 17:9

New King James Version (NKJV)

“The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?

There is Something I Don’t Know


The enemy is doing his utmost to cause you to focus on the things that discourage you, but you must refuse that temptation.  There are things that you do not yet understand; things that have not yet come to light that will make it easier to stay in the flow of My Spirit, says the Lord.  Be patient and stay alert.  I will guide you through this maze of confusion.

1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.

This really hit me hard. It’s hard to not be discouraged by what I see. But I think I understand what God is saying. Things are NEVER as they appear. I can’t wait for God to uncover what will make it easier for me to stay in the flow.

This is such a confirmation. I know the enemy would want me to look away, but God told showed me in a dream last year that the minute I looked away, I would miss the ending of this thing. I want to see what I prayed for happen, so I will have my popcorn out and continue to WATCH!