Both of my parents are in heaven, so I can talk about this. As I look back to growing up, I now understand why my mom dealt with my Dad the way she did. You see as hard as it is for me to admit, I think my Dad had some emotions problems. Yes, he functioned fine and was a hard worker who was NEVER unemployed his whole life. But he had emotional problems. I often wondered if he was abused as a child. And there are many people like that. They are hard workers and some are successful, but they have emotional problems.
Growing up, I saw my mother endure a lot at the hands of my father. There were rarely any happy times between my parents that I recall seeing. My mom was a sweet gentle woman and as I got older, I felt she needed to stand up for herself with my Dad. But time and time again my mother would let me know it wouldn’t help the situation and she was right.
I’m sure in their younger years she learned the best way to handle my father was to not be confrontational, (which wasn’t her personality anyway). so that is why she just “took stuff” off of him.
Honestly, I understand why she did that. Confrontation is important, but sometimes it’s best to leave a situation alone once you know a person is not emotionally well. In a case like that, you should just pray for them and steer clear, all while showing love.
It’s hard for me. Watching my mom made me not want to take any mess off a man. Consequently, I have a low tolerance for foolishness. But I have to be careful too because my intolerance can make things worse sometimes. I feel like I always have to “fight” for myself. It’s something I am asking God to change in me.
Meanwhile, my mothers method was good in one sense, but in another sense it wasn’t. She internalized stuff and it made her sick and took her home prematurely. I think it happens often when woman stay with abusive men.
Often people hold me to a very high standard that they won’t hold themselves to. They become a victim and NEVER own things. In that case, those are people you should stay away from. Let God deal with it and work on yourself. That is what I am doing.