Abuse is Not an Excuse


I have a family member who was molested by more than one person. Suddenly the light came on as to why that relative acts the way that they do.

Sometimes that person isolates themselves and for years they separated themselves from family. At times they can be really nasty and rude and cruel. But they also claim to know Christ and they are an intercessor in the church! (not judging, been there, done that)

God has given me even more compassion for the person, especially when I found out that there was more than one person who had molested them. Who can’t feel compassion for a person who has endured that. At that point I felt their pain and I felt deep compassion even though I have not been molested.

I’ve notice the patience that God has for people who have gone through these kinds of situations. Where He would have slapped their hands a long time ago, in these cases, it seems the Lord shows great compassion and He is very long-suffering.

But the Lord showed me in two cases that I know of that He is going to deal with that stuff. You see, your abuse is not an excuse for bad behavior. And sometimes God has to allow certain things to happen to let you know that certain behaviors are not acceptable.

It’s like dealing with a child. I am the caregiver for a toddler now and he turned 2 on Friday. I’ve notice changes in him. He is always hollering, “no” and “mine” and the other day he decided to bite me! Of course I gave him a long time out. And just like a toddler at some point God may have to discipline that person (give them a long time out), even though they have been abused. It’s called setting up boundaries.


7 thoughts on “Abuse is Not an Excuse

  1. I had a prophesy that someone in my family (who has treated me appaulingly) might have been abused. I know it is the reason the are not connecting with God in the way I believe is necessary, yet they have no idea what they are missing. Like a teenager who thinks they know it all. Only I have pushed this issue, as God asked me to, trying to help them unlock the hidden truth, but they swear nothing happened EVER! (Repressed Memory Syndrome springs to mind.) So why did God tell me this? I believe because He wants me to have compassion for their inability to connect with Him whole-heartedly. So I can let go of the grudge I felt at their misrepresentation of faith, and their abuse toward me and other family members. Yet like you I don’t believe it is an excuse for bad behaviour, it only helps me move on. I believe the abuse prophesy has helped me understand why we can’t have the relationship I fought so hard for, for so long. To let them go until God changes things in their heart and memory. Great post!

    • Amen, Waterbearer. In my case God has showed me that both of these individuals that I am dealing with will need me. Both of these people have known God long enough to change. They are both going to be shocked but God loves them both and he’s about to bring correction.

      Today, this morning I feel a special grace to keep going. Going to fast more to pray more. God is about to deliver

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