Mary’s Dilemma

220px-The_Nativity_StoryI am going through something that in the natural I want to release. I can so identify with Mary the mother of Jesus because she was ridiculed for something she did not choose. She was chosen and nobody believed her, not even her husband to be. I know that must have been scary and very lonely because she had to walk it alone for a season.

I think I am starting to see the path I must walk and boy is it scary. I spoke to a lady who God used to share her story that started my vision. We had not talked in probably 10 years. She said to me, “you are going to have to go through something”. When she said that I cringed. That is the story of my life. That was earlier this year and it looks just like that. I am going through something that is difficult!.

In the natural I want to walk away and let the inevitable happen, but I am “pregnant” with a baby I didn’t ask for. I keep saying to the Lord, well that seems better. That seems right. I am okay if it happens. But God compels me that He has another plan. Sheesh…if this is the cost dear Jesus I don’t want this. Let it be. I will be fine.

God knows all and sees all. I only ask that God would have an angel speak, just like he did with Joseph. I really pray that happen. The the Lord reminded me of a story where a Pastor was determined to commit adultery and he was struck by lightning and stayed in the hospital for many months. Perhaps that is what God will do.

The problem with being spiritually pregnant, is you cannot abort the baby even if you want to. At this point, I don’t want to have this baby because of the pain. It’s way too painful and it no longer makes sense to me. I so want to release this and wish some people well. This is how I sincerely feel. Dear Jesus “how can this be”??

Luke 1:34-35

Amplified Bible (AMP)

34 And Mary said to the angel, How can this be, since I have no [intimacy with any man as a] husband?

35 Then the angel said to her, The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you [like a shining cloud]; and so the holy (pure, sinless) Thing (Offspring) which shall be born of you will be called the Son of God.