I didn’t realize it, but I’ve been in a crisis. I’ve gone through it for a while now. Yesterday I was listening to a women’s conference online and as the minister preached about Abraham and Sarah and the disappointment Sarah must have had, never having bore a child, the floodgates broke.
As the tears streamed down my face, I realized that there was a deep disappointment in my soul, having tried my best to do the right thing, only to come up lacking. If you knew my life, you would understand how I feel and felt. I tried to live like God told me to live. I didn’t backslide and I have lived right (no, I’m not perfect).
But when you get to a certain point in life and all that you have believed God for has eluded you, you can become bitter and it can fester and grow deep down inside. And then as a women, your ‘value” goes down, as you age according to the world, and sadly even in the church.
When I look in the mirror, the reflection in no way reflects the number, however the number is still the number. A couple of weeks ago, I picked up a prescription from the pharmacy and you have to give your date of birth and the girl behind the counter asked me if the prescription was for me. When I said yes, she was stunned. She was shocked at my age, and honestly I am too. I’m shell-shocked. (lol) She thought I was in my thirties.
Honestly, I feel as though, it too late for a lot of things. I’ve kind of given up hope. I have thought perhaps it’s not meant to be. Perhaps I will not have a family. This has been deep inside for sometime now, all while speaking words of faith.
In the midst of this though, I received a word of clarity about all the back and forth with moving. At one time, It may have been God’s method, but the prophet recently addressed the fact that every time I have made plans, something has gone wrong, and that deep down inside I knew the answer.
In spite of everything I just shared, I still believe God. My greatest hope is that God’s perfect plan will prevail and manifest, but I now know that the way it will happen has changed. Thank God! He is wanting to protect me because God knows that I have gone through so much, that I could not bear anymore disappointment. Thank God for the prophetic! God is going to bring my blessing to me and that is because he is mindful of my stage of life.
Have the promises of God eluded you, all while you are getting older? God knows something about it we don’t know. If this is your concern, you still must trust God!
Genesis 21:1-2
New International Version (NIV)
The Birth of Isaac
21 Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised.2 Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him.
A Prophetic Walk 
Loved the little video!!!!!!
Me too! 🙂
Me too! 🙂
My dear I know what you are going through. At the age of 44 I decided I wanted to have a baby on my own even though I was not in a relationship. I did artificial insemination twice, –failed. I did invitro—1 embroyo – a postive test to be followed by a miscarriage. I tried one more time and nothing not even one egg—-this cost me all the money I had. Do I still want a family? sometimes–I do..would I go at it alone–sure if I got miracoulsy pregnant–would I try to get pregnant with invitro–NO. I do not think that I want to raise a child alone. I am now going to be 51–I would so much love to have that loving partner in my life. And if I meant to have a baby or raise a child somehow–then it is in God’s hands–just like he gave Sarah a child at the age of 90 (?). Why life has turned out this way I do not know–maybe bad choices in the past? But I will let God sort it all out.
So, hang in there my dear.
Ivonne
It’s hard to understand sometimes Ivonne… 😦 I know I still want a family.. Thanks for the encouragement!
I want it as well. Remember before the advent of the birth control pill and the chemicals in our foods and cosmetic products women were having babies in their 50’s naturally. So if you still want to have a baby start changing your diet and detox of chemicals that inhibit fertiltity such as parabens in cosmetics. The five virgens were prepared when the groom arrived. Are you prepared right now in this moment if the right man appeared to have a baby and a family? No, well then what are you waiting for. The five virgens who did not have oil in the lamps when the groom arrived were left out in the cold. So, where you be standing? With the groom or out in the cold with the five unprepared virgins.
🙂
ivonne
I hear you loud and clear and WILL NOT be left out in the cold. I promise you I will have a good report soon!! 🙂
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My sister! This was so heartfelt and sincere. You kept it real and I thank God for your renewed faith. I have a scripture for you. I think it is Luke 4 when they fished and came up empty then Jesus returned them to the same task…and then…HALLELUJAH!! I feel this thing!!
Luke 5 and God gives me that scripture ALL THE TIME!! Praise God for the confirmations…whew!!!
Thank you. I am in exactly the same position – I needed this word of encouragement and Faith. God Bless
You’re welcome. To God be the glory! God bless!