Christian Singles and Sex

I’ve been reading some blogs written by Christians about sex and it has been eye-opening for me to see the different views that Christians have about sex. I was raised in the church, so to say I have been sheltered from a lot is an understatement. But I am by no means a prude either.

I’m learning that when people get saved, they bring all of their previous appetites, habits and hobbies with them right into the church. Just the other day I saw a little clip about a naked church and yes the Pastor was standing there in his birthday suit (not shown on the video) preaching the word. I was amazed and shocked and of course he felt he had scripture to justify having a nude church. lol

But the truth is, when you develop appetites in the world through fornication, pornography, strip clubs etc, then there may need to be a purification process that you have to go through. I know some people are thinking well there is nothing about their sexual appetites that needs to change and it is what it is and there is nothing God wants to change because they like what they like. But I beg to differ. (I’m talking to singles)

God had a particular design for the marriage bed and in the beginning he meant for a man and women to come to that bed pure and undefiled, however that is not the case today. It’s said that on the average, an unmarried person will have no less than seven sex-partners before marriage. I personally think that is on the lower end, but what does that mean for you and your future marriage? It means you created multiple experiences with other individuals illegally. Now don’t tell me that is not going to affect your future marriage.

It means you may be remembering what you did with Susie,Trina, Bob or Joe and then you will try to duplicate that with your bride or groom. I don’t think that is a good thing. So if in this day and age hardly anyone comes to the marriage bed pure, what is the solution? The solution is a purification and cleansing in this area. I believe God can and will do it if you ask him.

The attitude I am seeing amongst Christians singles, is I already have already fornicated and developed these appetites, I just need a body to fulfill it. Well that is the problem. I am almost 95% sure that pre-marital sex is going to have some negative affect on your future marriage.

A lot of Christian singles believe that fornication is sin in theory, but few practice it. And then we fill our spirits with movies like “Sex in the City” and “Single Ladies” or worse yet, pornography, and wonder why we are having difficulty. The reason is because we are conforming to the world.

Honestly, I was raised and followed certain standards, (I am far from perfect) so I know my perspective is totally different. I wasn’t out there and so I know if you come from a world of extreme sexual sin, it’s easier said than done. But I think my perspective needs to be heard because a lot of what you see today in no way resembles what God had in mind for his people where it comes to sex.

Here is what I have learned. If a man wants to marry you and he is putting demands on you about what he must have in bed, BEFORE he marries you, you might need to leave him alone. It a sure sign he needs deliverance in my opinion. If all of his appetites were formed through fornication, pornography, and he justifies it and won’t even acknowledge that he may need detoxification (see the link below), that is not a good thing.

I’m not trying to get into people’s bedrooms. That is not the purpose of this post. This post is a reminder that we may need to be sanctified and purified in order to be properly prepared for marriage.

1 Corinthians 6:13-18

New Living Translation (NLT)

13 You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. 14 And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead.

15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”[a] 17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.

18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

Here is a good resource:

Sexual Detox I: Pornifying the Marriage Bed

This link will lead you to the full series.